“Pity, party of one, your table is ready.” Every now and then I need someone to quote that back to me. In fact, today would have been a good day for that.
What’s going on when we wallow is self-pity? Probably an unhealthy focus on ourselves. That doesn’t mean that we should never have thoughts about parts of our lives that we wish were different. Such thoughts are normal for thinking people who care about life, their situation and their future. What is unhelpful is when some aspect of life that may actually seem small or not so bad to an outsider begins to consume our thoughts and emotions to the point of near obsession so that we cannot see the bigger picture of what is good in our lives.
Today is Father’s Day. I am blessed with two grown sons whom I love with all my heart. I am blessed to have the most wonderful Dad on earth who lives about 90 miles away and whom I get to see about once every 4-6 weeks or so. Any of us can talk to each other as often as we wish. I get to see my youngest son and his family every week since we only live five miles apart and we work for the same company.
Yet, what did I wake up this morning feeling all sorry for myself about? That I wouldn’t actually be present with my boys or my Dad today.
Then I started seeing posts on Facebook from those who no longer have their dads in this life to talk to. On the way home from church I saw more people than normal driving into a cemetery, presumably to visit the graves of their dads. I thought of my father who only has one of his three children left.
If the thing I want most on Father’s Day is to see my boys, I bet the same is true for my Dad. I blew it this time. Even though I spent yesterday with him, instead of today’s pity party, I should have been with him. I won’t make that mistake again.
Leap year lesson #164 is Self pity is such as waste of time.