Posts Tagged ‘Christianity’

2013 Goals Update – May 16

Posted: May 16, 2013 in Goals
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Progress ReportIn my first post for the year on January 1, I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  I review my progress here monthly to help hold me accountable.  I have some good news and some bad news on my goals for 2013 to date.  The good news is that I’m well ahead or on target for several of them.  The bad news is that I’m woefully behind on a couple and it will take quite a bit of time to catch up.  Catching up is possible, especially since I’m now in a stretch of three weeks I’m (mostly) taking off from work with more time daily to devote to them, so I’m hopeful that my report next month looks better.  Here are the details…

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All continues to be well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.  I look forward to the 1-year anniversary of reaching my target weight July 26.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week. I’m way ahead of schedule on this one, having done it enough days to already be in the month of July ticking them off a calendar.  With our company’s annual 100 Day Dash starting June 3 where my goal is to average 10,000 steps per day for 100 days, I’ll easily pass the goal for the year by the end of that Dash in September.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I still don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm and lay down, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.  I’m enjoying a little extra time in bed during these weeks off in May.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  I am more behind on this goal than any other.  I’m a few dozen pages away from completing book #5 for the year.  By this time, I should already be in book #10.  I have some work to do!

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I’ve posted 59 blog posts this year, but an every-other-day schedule would have me at 68 already, so I need some daily ones in this time off to reach the goal.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  Same as reported last time, this one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.  I still think through the sequence on days I blog to see what is worth writing about, but other days I tend to forget about the framework even though I may still do two of the three instinctively every day.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m running 20% ahead of schedule on this one and will pass last year’s total readership either this month or next.  Many thanks to all of you for making that happen!

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  As reported before, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be this summer before I do it again.  Time to start making notes on what the focus of these next ones should be for each son.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  I am a month behind on this goal.  My time off this month is allowing me the luxury of peace and quiet at home to do more reading, so the report on this next month should be much improved.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good. This takes less than an hour weekly, so it’s easy to stay current.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  Completed in January.

Life has been a little weird around our house the last six weeks.  My wife just had her second knee replacement surgery since early April, so our schedules are anything but normal.  I learned from the first one that I can’t keep a regular work and personal routine going with her in the hospital and rehab and then needing more help than normal around the house.  That’s a large part of why I’m taking off so many days from work now through the end of the month.  I needed to take some time off, anyway, for a breather and to work on some of the above matters that are very important to me.

So that’s how I’m doing on my goals after the first 4+ months of 2013.  What about you?  How are you doing on your goals for the year?

I Said Goodbye To a Friend Today

Posted: May 11, 2013 in Grief
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Goodbyes Make My Throat HurtNote: I wrote the following on March 15 after a visit with a friend in the hospital, thinking that it would be the last time I saw him this side of heaven.  He defied the odds and remained with us for nearly two more months, allowing me the opportunity to visit him again.  Still, I share the following as originally written in memory of and with thankfulness for the friend whose funeral I just attended today.  He will be missed.

There have been very few times in my 56 years when I’ve had the chance to say a proper farewell to someone who was about to pass from this life to the next.  The first occasion was in the final days of my sweet sister’s life in 1995 before cancer took its toll.  I will always remember the private moment of being alone with her in her bedroom, holding her hand, telling her I loved her and how proud of her I was, and giving her a final kiss.  She couldn’t speak words back to me, but I know I saw a slight smile on her lips.  In the presence of others that weekend, she said, “Well, hello, Mamaw” – a reference to our grandmother who had passed away less than two months earlier, making us all wonder what she was experiencing as she transitioned between this life and the one to come.

Tonight I said goodbye to an older friend from church.  His life dramatically changed a matter of weeks ago with a diagnosis of leukemia and a series of medical incidents that abruptly took him from an active life to one coming quickly to an end.  My wife sent me a text on my way home from work telling me that we needed to go to the hospital when I got home because time was limited.

At the hospital, my friend was alert, lucid, engaged in meaningful conversation, and had a handshake with his right hand as strong as an ox, while his left laid lifeless – a recent development in his rapid physical deterioration.  In a moment like that, there is neither time nor reason to skirt the issue at hand, no sense in pretending you’ll see each other again in a few days, no reason to pray for healing or to give empty wishes of getting well.  In that moment, it is right and good to acknowledge that earthly life is nearing an end, and that it’s alright.  That is certainly what my friend was telling his visitors.

My friend has had a glimpse of what is in store for him once he passes from this life to the next.  What he has seen and heard and experienced in recent days as he has walked that fine line between this life and the next has given him absolute assurance of what is to come.  Instead of others trying to comfort him, he is the one spending his last days comforting and assuring others, providing hope, and anticipating a life eternal that is more beautiful and indescribable than he could place into words.  I believe in the reality of what he has seen and in the conversations he has had with Jesus to pave the path he must follow during his final days.  He is ready to go whenever his Lord takes him.

It was a holy moment to acknowledge in that final conversation the greatness of our God, our complete reliance on Him, and gratitude that we serve such a wonderful Savior.  It was gut-wrenching but important to tell him that I loved him, that he was a good man and that I had the deepest respect for him.  It was good to hear his kind words to me, recalling the time I asked him if he would be willing to serve as a deacon.  It was bittersweet to walk out the door saying goodbye, knowing I would not see him again this side of heaven, yet knowing that we both understood what I meant when I said, “I will see you again.”

As I think back on the 60 hours I’ve worked this week, on the many things done and undone on my task list, on how I spent my time, I am reminded that as wonderful and fulfilling as this life can be, this is but a shadow of something far more that we are meant to experience.  I left the hospital thinking, “Now that is reality.  That is important.  That is what this life should be about because ultimately this life is only a prelude to the eternal one to come.”

I am thankful for my friend.  I am thankful for his faith and how he demonstrated it in his final days.  I am thankful that I had a chance to say a proper goodbye.

As I write this looking at a screen blurred by tear-filled eyes, I will simply say “Until we meet again, my friend…”

What I Would Do Different As a Dad If I Had the Chance

Posted: April 28, 2013 in Parenting
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My son, Brian, bow fishing at Lake Moultrie, SC

My son, Brian, bow fishing at Lake Moultrie, SC

My two sons have been out on their own for many years.  The oldest, Brian, lives in Folly Beach, South Carolina where he loves his life and work.  The youngest, Jason, lives in Louisville with his wife and two-year-old daughter.  He and I work for the same company.  I have many reasons to be thankful as a dad for each of my boys.  I am grateful for the life lessons they taught me as we experienced this father-son thing by trial and error over many years.  I hope there are some important lifelong lessons they have learned from me, either from my good example or from their resolve not to follow my bad example.

It isn’t possible to go back and redo one’s life as a parent, and I don’t sit around beating myself up for what I didn’t do well.  That would be pointless.  Every parent does some things well and other things poorly.  However, I can’t help but reflect on the whole experience from time to time and think of things I would change if I had the chance to do it all over again.  This post reflects on those changes.  Perhaps some of the following will resonate with new dads or dads-to-be in a way that encourages them to avoid my mistakes.  Of course, the principles apply to moms and moms-to-be as well.  Maybe there is still time for me to take my own advice in years to come as opportunities arise.

While there are things I think I did well, this post is about what I would do different, so here they are:

1. Commit to fewer things outside the home.  Kids need time with their parents, so parents need to realize that once they make the decision to bring children into this world, nurturing, raising, educating and shaping those children is now a significant priority for the next couple of decades (at least).

I’m one who likes to commit to a lot of tasks, pushing myself to accomplish much.  That is still evident in the post from earlier this year about my goals for 2013.  I’m already thinking about some significant goals for 2014.  As a result, time at home and time with my boys suffered from such commitments.  It is still really hard for me to just have down time to chill.  For example, I multitask if the TV is on by checking various websites or social media sites, jogging in place to make sure I reach 10,000 steps for the day, doing some mindless chores or plowing through emails that have piled up.  But to just sit and enjoy some show or movie?  Not likely.

The danger with such a bent toward multitasking and over-committing is that you can see your child as just one more demand on your schedule competing for limited time that is already spread too thin.  It doesn’t help that people are typically having children when they are young and also eager to climb the corporate ladder or establish themselves professionally.  Competition for attention is built in to the stage of life.  No wonder our hair turns gray.  We earn it.

There were too many times when I inwardly considered requests from my sons to play or do something else as a hindrance in me getting other things done that were on my list.  My boys should never have a reason to think that they are an interruption or not as important as other things I’m doing.  They are potentially the most significant mark I will leave on this planet when I’m gone, so why would I not invest the most time possible in them?  They deserve it because of who they are and because I love them.

Daughter-in-law Lauren, granddaughter Abby, and Jason

2. Be slow to anger.  Parenting is tough and it can be very tiring.  Heck, life can be tiring with or without kids.  It is easier to react emotionally and inappropriately when you’re tired or frustrated, and I know I did that too often raising my boys (reminder: once is too often for this behavior).  I remember times when there was fear in their eyes and body language because I lost control, yelling at them or spanking too harshly.  What made me angriest was disobedience.  I believe it’s OK to spank, but not out of anger and not excessively.

If I had little ones around again, I’d work harder to remain in control of my emotions.  I’d know to keep my mouth shut at the height of a potentially explosive moment, excusing myself while I found a way to calm down before speaking or acting in a way I would later regret.  I would never want to be the reason for fear in the eyes of my kids.  As their dad, I need to be a safe haven, a protector, a solid rock they turn to for security, not some out-of-control maniac frightening them with his anger.  They deserve better than that.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression and make anyone think such behavior was a daily or frequent occurrence in our home.  It wasn’t.  But the few times I can recall it happening were still wrong and I wish I had been slower to anger, even when they disobeyed.  Children don’t know what we know or have the same priorities and perspectives we have, nor should we expect them to.  They’re kids.  We need to remember that.

3. Love their mother more.  It’s important for children to see their parents love one another, support each other, be kind to each other, be friends with each other, maturely resolve conflicts, and model the kind of relationship you hope the children one day grow up to have with their spouses.  While I love my wife of nearly 34 years, she and I are extremely different in many significant ways.  That opens the door to us doing our own things separately with much of our time, sometimes making fun of those differences or even being irritated by them.

What did our children think about and what did they learn from the relationship Linda and I modeled in the home?  It is sobering to realize that the example we set is what our children are going to grow up thinking is normal.  What we say about such relationships doesn’t carry nearly as much weight as the example we set in the home day after day.  Was that example consistent with what we said?  Was I the spouse I should have modeled for my boys?  Sometimes I got it right, but I know many times I did not.

Brian, Jason and me sporting our Kentucky and Ale-8 gear

Brian, Jason and me sporting our Kentucky and Ale-8 gear

4. Be more of a spiritual leader.  There is a big difference between being active in one’s church or religious community and being a spiritual leader in the home.  As one who was in a ministerial role during some of my sons’ formative years, I know I lived out my faith in a number of ways, but did I do a good job in the home?  Did I talk about matters of faith in everyday circumstances when teachable moments arose?  Did I pray with and for my boys enough?  Did I lead my family in devotions and clearly explain the gospel to them in word and in deed (and, yes, explaining the gospel takes words, not just a good example)?

As a Christian who understands far more about matters of faith today than when my boys were young, I’d sure like a do-over in this area because I think I did a poor job.  Like many parents, I put too much emphasis on what the boys should be learning and doing in church as opposed to what I should be teaching them in the home.  I have since captured in black and white what I believe to be the heart of my faith and shared it with them in personal hand-written letters, but that isn’t the same when they are adults as what you might do over many formative years when they are under the same roof.

Ultimately, each person makes his/her own decisions in matters of faith.  What parents do or do not do is no guarantee of what their children will grow up to believe or how they will behave.  Still, the proverb to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) rings true as good advice today for parents who care about influencing their children’s spiritual life.  To abdicate that responsibility for any reason, especially the currently popular notion of not wanting to influence the child in religious/spiritual matters, is not an option for one who cares about parenting in a manner consistent with biblical principles.  I didn’t abdicate the responsibility, but I didn’t fulfill it as well as I could have, either.

So…

When I ponder how I might sum up in one statement what I would do different as a dad if I had the chance to do it over, I think I’d summarize by saying this…

I’d take them fishing more often.

Wait!  Hear me out… My boys loved to fish just as I did as a boy.  They were fascinated by it and loved it when their Grandpa would take them on occasion.  When I look at the items listed above, this one act captures the essence of what I would do different in a practical way:

  • More fishing together would mean fewer non-family-time commitments outside the home.
  • It’s hard to get angry with your boys when you’re sitting on the side of a pond enjoying nature and experiencing the excitement of that nibble or catch.
  • Sometimes the most loving thing a dad can do for a mom is to take the kids away for some father-son time and leave Mom to rest or catch her breath, joyful that her husband and children are out having fun and bonding.  I would invite her to go fishing, too, but I don’t think she’d be much interested.
  • When waiting for the fish to bite, you have to talk about something, and what better to talk about in such a setting than our awesome Creator and His magnificent world, how He loves us and what He expects from us?

A few decades ago, I confess that I might have considered spending time fishing as a bother and a waste of time when there was so much else to be done.  I regret that.  My boys needed that experience and time with me, and I needed it with them.  My sons and I did have fun and still do.  I think I have a very good relationship with both of them, but it could have been better earlier if I had done something as simple as taking them fishing more often.

If you’re the parent of young children or you expect to be in the future, be the best parent and spouse in the present that you can be.  Learn from the mistakes and experiences of others before your kids are grown and out of the house.  You don’t get a do-over raising your children.

2013 Goals Update – April 6

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Goals
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With Progress Report2013 now 1/4 complete, it’s time to report on how I’m doing with the many goals I set for the year.  My first post for 2013 on January 1 is where I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  Reporting on my progress here helps hold me accountable, so that’s why I’m doing these monthly updates.

There’s good news and bad news on the goals front this month.  The good news is that I’m still doing well on some of them.  The bad news is that I’m more behind on others now than I was a month ago.  One big reason why I’m more behind than expected is that I had to cancel a week of vacation for late March where my plan was to catch up with the reading and writing goals.  With simply too much happening at work to walk away for a week, I felt the impact of not having that time for working on my goals.  I’ve scheduled a vacation week for April and another for May to try to catch up some, but with other schedule oddities going on that I will mention below, it will still be a challenge to completely catch up anytime soon.

It is what it is, so here is the update…

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All continues to be well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.  I look forward to reaching the 1-year anniversary of reaching my target weight this summer.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week. I’m still way ahead of schedule on this one because I’ve been doing it five days per week instead of three for a couple of months now to reach some reward goals with my company’s incentive program, HumanaVitality.  In March, I ran my first 5K race in about 5-6 years when my company scheduled one just for our employees and families in downtown Louisville.  My race time was the slowest 5K I’ve ever done at 31 minutes, 18 seconds (my previous race before this one, for example, was under 24 minutes), but I’ll use it as a benchmark going forward.  At least there were only seven people my age or older who finished before me.  I was #232 overall out of 2074 finishers.  I’ll take it.  Also helping with this goal is that the weather is finally getting warmer, so I will be more inclined to go for runs or longer walks with the dog than during the cold weather.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I still don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm and lay down, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.  I’m probably pretty close on this one.  Unless I buy something like a Fitbit that tracks sleep, I won’t know exactly how well I’m doing on this goal, but I’ll have a good idea.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  I really bombed on this one in March.  I didn’t complete any book.  I’m about 2/3 through the one I’m reading, but this is one of the goals impacted by me canceling my vacation a couple of weeks ago.  I have much to do here.

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I keep lagging a few days behind in this goal, having published 45 posts this year when an every-other-day schedule would have me at 48 by now.  Catching up won’t be difficult.  Blogging daily for one week would do it.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  As I reported last month, this one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.  I still think through the sequence on days I blog to see what is worth writing about, but other days I tend to forget about the framework even though I may still do two of the three instinctively every day.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m very happy to say that as of today I’m running 46% ahead of schedule on this one.  At the current pace, I’ll pass last year’s total readership in either April or, more likely, May.  A couple of pairs of popular posts have helped the cause with each receiving hundreds of views and the most popular (The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee) now approaching 1000 views.

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  As reported before, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will likely be this summer before I do it again.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  I am more behind on this goal than any other.  Again, canceling the vacation week really hurt me here.  I have much to do to get back on track, but just a few solid days of vacation devoted to this would do it.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good. This takes less than an hour weekly, so it’s easy to stay current.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  Completed in January.

I don’t expect to be caught up on all goals by the end of April.  My wife just had knee replacement surgery two days ago and will have the other knee replaced in about four weeks.  She needs assistance from me, of course, when she returns home, and the schedule meanwhile is way different than normal.  I’m also officiating at a wedding later in April, going out of town for a couple of days for that.  Whenever I perform a wedding, I rehearse it a bazillion times so I can say everything just right without depending much on notes, so I know I’ll spend a lot of hours on that the next couple of weeks instead of other matters my time would normally be given to.  That isn’t a complaint, of course, since it’s a great privilege to officiate at the wedding of dear friends.  It’s just a notation that spending more time in one effort means there is less time to spend in others, so there may be consequences related to these goals that I’ll have to make up later.

So that’s how I’m doing on my goals after the first three months of 2013.  What about you?  How are you doing on your goals for the year?

It’s Friday, but Sunday’s a Comin’

Posted: March 29, 2013 in Christianity
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On this day when Christians around the world remember the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, it is good to remember that his death on the cross wasn’t the end of the story.  It was a necessary part of the story of what he did on our behalf, but it was not – and is not – the end.  If you want a longer explanation of the gospel message, I invite you to read my page This I Believe.

For now, though, it is enough to put yourself for a few minutes into the events that happened nearly 2000 years ago through this short video.

For Such a Time as This

Posted: March 21, 2013 in Priorities
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For Such A Time As ThisAt my company, we have many discussions and activities related to the subject of well-being.  Most of these are related to the health dimension of well-being, but we still acknowledge and work toward improving well-being in other areas as well, such as security, belonging, and purpose.  This post addresses a little about the purpose dimension of well-being.

If someone asks you “What is your purpose in life?”, how will you respond?  Will the answer today be different than a few years ago?  Does one’s purpose remain relatively constant throughout adult life, or do you think it’s subject to periodic change?

For a few decades, when I have heard the question, I have immediately thought of the first part of the Westminster Shorter Catechism created in 1647:

“What is the chief end of man?  Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.”

I’m not telling anyone else what their purpose should be by posting the above – just stating that such a clear, concise understanding has helped guide me for many years and continues to do so.  But what does that mean?  It’s a rather broad statement and certainly open to interpretation at the level of implementation detail.  For me, the overall purpose remains constant, but how that fleshes out from one year to the next or even one day to the next is up for grabs.  I certainly have some consistent beliefs, practices and commitments related to that purpose, but there is flexibility that can make what I do today a little different that what I did yesterday, and there’s even a little wiggle room in some peripheral beliefs.  A sense of purpose may provide wide guidelines and boundaries within which we operate, while still being open to momentary, unexpected events that tie to the purpose, yet could never be planned in advance.

I believe each of us is uniquely positioned in this world to do something and to be someone unlike any other.  Nobody else has the exact experiences, motivations, passions, trials, and opportunities as you.  Nobody.  So it seems that each of us has the opportunity to live out our purpose in a wonderfully unique way that has not existed before and will not be repeated again, even if we share the same overall purpose.  It is as though we are actors in a tremendous drama where we get to write part of the script as we go, making the most of each moment.

This unique fleshing out of one’s purpose recalls to mind an insightful thought from one of the main characters in the grand story from the Old Testament book of Esther in the 5th century B.C.  As scenes change from one queen losing favor with the king, and a young Jewish Esther becoming queen, evil Haman plots to kill all the Jews in the Persian Empire.  Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, in discussing her risky option of approaching the king to help save the Jews, tells her ”who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).  Being in that place at that time for those actions was central to Esther’s purpose in life.  I wonder how many little things along the way not recorded in the book contributed to the unfolding of events as they played out.  She, and only she, was in a unique position to make a difference in that situation for all time.

Decisions may be seemingly small, random and passing (such as to help that needy person on the street), or large and obviously consequential (e.g., career choices, relationship decisions, and leaps of faith).  It’s possible that coincidence is involved in the timing of some things, but it is just as likely (more so in my opinion) that there is more at work than mere coincidence, even in the daily unexpected moments that bring meaning to our days and that relate to our purpose.

My takeaways from thinking about this: Know the broad overarching purpose that gives your life meaning and significance.  Plan your days and work hard, but always be open to unexpected opportunities uniquely presented just to you at just that moment.  You will respond to them either in accordance with or contrary to your perceived purpose.

Who knows whether you have come for such a time as this?

Stooping to Serve

Posted: March 18, 2013 in Behavior
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Stooping To HelpHave you ever seen a child instinctively help another child up when he falls? Do you recall a time when you immediately went to someone’s aid without having to stop and think about it simply because there was a need and you wanted to help? It seems like such a simple matter, but it appears that as we “mature” and find ourselves in different positions and roles in life, that willingness to stoop to help others lives in constant danger of being suppressed.

The attention of the world in recent days has been given to the new Pope Francis and especially his lifestyle of service, simplicity and humility through the years. Against the backdrop of world leaders often living in splendor while their countrymen suffer, such an attitude is, indeed, refreshing. Nobody is too good or too important to serve others.

While reading Nehemiah the last couple of days about the rebuilding of the Jerusalem wall in the 5th century B.C., Nehemiah 3:5 jumped out at me. In the midst of a passage talking about the various groups that shared in the responsibility of rebuilding and repairing, we read: “And next to them the Tekoites repaired, but their nobles would not stoop to serve their Lord.”

Who would not stoop? The nobles. The work was being done by a vast number of people eager to do the work, to be part of a cause greater than themselves. Yet here was a group of people who considered themselves greater than the work. They considered it beneath them, yet it was the most significant work of that century for that people.

The problem with considering yourself too good to stoop to help others is that those who hold such an attitude are completely inaccurate in their self-assessment. They aren’t really too good or lofty to serve or help others – they just think they are. They are mistaken.

I am thankful for the example of everyday men and women, boys and girls, who care more about helping others than about maintaining some off-base inflated self-assessment of their importance. I am grateful for leaders who understand and practice servant leadership. I am humbled by people who are not afraid to get their hands dirty and to live life in the trenches if that is where the need is found.

“But whoever must be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” – Jesus, Mark 10:43-45.

Little Things Count

Posted: March 9, 2013 in Behavior
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Little Things CountHow do you choose to make a difference in the lives of others?  Do you think you can make such a difference?  Do you wish you could do more?  Do you think that what you do is of little significance?

Many people, myself included, want to make a positive difference in the world.  Most don’t have a large, public stage from which to perform such acts.  Most don’t have substantial financial resources to directly impact the welfare of those less fortunate.  Most don’t hold positions of power from which they can command the use of others’ time, energy and resources to accomplish what they want.  So does that mean each of us is relegated to having an insignificant impact that lasts for only a moment and affects very few others?  I don’t think so.

A couple of related thoughts come to mind when pondering this subject.  The first has to do with our definitions of success and significance.  The second relates to our awareness (or lack thereof) of the impact we have on others.

As for success vs. significance, our American culture attempts to define success in terms of how much money we make, how many possessions we have, how much power we wield, the kind and level of job we hold, what our home looks like, etc.  We mathematically categorize people as upper class, middle class, or lower class.

If you are in the trap of defining success that way, take a moment and think about some of the most important people in your past, those who had the most influence on you, those who taught you the most and helped shaped you into the person you are.  Think about the ways you have incorporated the lessons learned from those people into your life and how you have passed on those same lessons to others.  Now think back to the material circumstances of those influential people who came to mind.  Were they financially wealthy?  Were they the ones running huge corporations or in charge of millions or billions of dollars annually?  Were they well-known public officials?  Probably not (although they could be).  Instead, they were more likely parents, teachers, grandparents, friends or mentors who cared about you, noticed you, and gave generously of themselves to enrich your life.  Were they successful as culture defines success?  Maybe, maybe not.  But were they significant?  You bet they were!

We have to start making a clear distinction between culturally defined “success” and true “significance.”  Do a quick Amazon search on the word pair “success significance” and you’ll turn up several resources that distinguish between the two.  Ultimately, you are the one who must determine the definitions of success and significance by which you measure the impact of your life (i.e., if you measure it, which I don’t recommend trying).  For me, success was long ago defined by the book Success, Motivation, and the Scriptures by William H. Cook where I came away with the definition: “Success is doing what God wants you to do in the way He wants you to do it.”  Therefore, I am fulfilling my purpose and am successful if I live up to that definition.  I have to trust that significance is an outcome, whether I see or know about the results or not.

The beauty of that definition of success is that it potentially applies to any act, big or small.  Success might be facilitated by a public platform with the chance to speak to and influence many others.  But it also comes in simple one-to-one compassion shown for another, performing an act of kindness that enriches another’s life, having private conversation where you listen more than you talk, making sure that when you do talk, the words are worth the time others are taking to hear them.

I’m not discounting the value of the public, large-scale opportunities to make a difference.  We should take advantage of those whenever possible.  I want us to understand, though, that success and significance can also come through seemingly small things that have little or no audience.

When reading through the Old Testament book of 1 Chronicles recently, I was struck by the reference in 9:31 to Mattithiah, one of the Levites, listed as being in charge of making the flat cakes.   Here in this chapter discussing the genealogy of returned exiles is recorded for all time a man who carried out his service daily making flat cakes.  In his world at the time, he was probably unnoticed by most.  He sought no fame or fortune.  He fulfilled his duty day in and day out.  He made flat cakes.  And now 2500 years later we read about him.  Mattithiah would have liked the definition of success above – doing what God wants you to do in the way He wants you to do it.  He was successful, and he was significant.  Acts of seemingly little significance are necessary, and are noticed and appreciated by God and others.

As we browse the Bible, there are so many additional reminders of the importance of doing the little things with the right attitude and motive, confident that they matter in the grand scheme of things to the only One who is worthy of judging:

  • “…whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all” – Mark 10:43-44
  • “…I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:11-13
  • “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” – Colossians 3:17.
  • “I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness” – Psalm 84:10.

The Bible’s definition and description of success is light years away from our culture’s.

As for our awareness (or lack thereof) of the impact we have on others, we simply don’t know the impact we have because we can’t be all places at all times.  There is a potential ripple effect of our actions and attitudes on the lives of others that we will never witness or hear about.  People that influenced me were influenced by others I may never have known, and those strangers were influenced by others I have never heard of who were born in another place and time.  In a sense, we are with our lives throwing a pebble in a pond and turning to walk away before we have the chance to observe the ripples and how far they extend.  It isn’t our job to study the ripples, though.  It is our role to toss the pebble.

I’ve had wonderful opportunities in my life through my work, through travel, through meeting people of different backgrounds, and through great relationships with family and friends.  I’m open to whatever platform from which I can make a difference, big or small.  At work I am content not to be a manager, although I’ve managed teams in the past and had success with it.  I’d be content being the Wal-Mart greeter who says hello and offers you a shopping cart.  At church, I’ve taught classes more often than not over the past 40+ years, and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to preach to congregations.  But the truth is that I’m just as content to serve by providing Christian literature and resources weekly or by making coffee early enough so it’s ready when others arrive.

Don’t let a twisted culture define success or significance for you.  Realize that significance can happen one person and one small act at a time.  Going that extra step to help someone at work or home, seeing to the laborious and unheralded tasks others don’t want to do, noticing the people and circumstances that others pass by in their daily rush and taking time to invest in them in some small way – these are the kinds of acts by which others will measure your success and significance.  They will carry those ripples into the lives of others.

Little things count.

Book Review: “Concerning Christian Liberty” by Martin Luther

Posted: March 2, 2013 in Book Reviews
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Martin LutherIf you’re looking for a book review of something hot off the press, you’re in the wrong place with this post.  Today I completed the brief treatise by Martin Luther written in 1520 called Concerning Christian Liberty, also called On the Freedom of a Christian.  I downloaded the free Kindle version a while back not knowing how long it was and was quite surprised to find that it is only a few dozen pages long.  In this final of three treatises by Luther in 1520, he writes about the Christian’s freedom from the law (i.e., Christian liberty) once justified by faith, and that the Christian should have a desire to serve and do good works from the motivation of love and service to one’s neighbor rather than as a means to earn favor with God.

I’m not of a mind to critique the contents of this or any book by Martin Luther.  I am deeply indebted to him as a Protestant.  I am aware of the criticisms that some have against a few of his views and actions, especially from his later years, but those do not negatively reflect on his core writings which were of great significance in the Protestant Reformation of the 1500s.  For the very valuable truths contained in the writing, I suggest you take the short amount of time it takes to read it yourself.

Instead, I want to share here some reactions to reading a significant document nearly 500 years old.

1. It is refreshing to read people who write what they think and who are not afraid to offend, even if speaking the truth is offensive.

For example, in this treatise, Luther prefaces the main body of work with a letter to Pope Leo X in which he repeatedly speaks well of the pope’s personal character, but in which he clearly condemns the corruption of the Roman Catholic Church:

These things are clearer than the light to all men; and the Church of Rome, formerly the most holy of all Churches, has become the most lawless den of thieves, the most shameless of all brothels, the very kingdom of sin, death, and hell; so that not even antichrist, if he were to come, could devise any addition to its wickedness.

Come on, Marty, tell us what you really think!  It should not come as a surprise that Luther was excommunicated from the Church a few months after sending this to Pope Leo X and only a few weeks after setting fire to the papal bull (edict) from the summer of 1520 in which Leo warned Luther of excommunication unless Luther recanted many of his statements.

This frankness with which writers used to say what they think, even in the sometimes lengthy and pointed titles they gave to their writings, is refreshing.  We could use a little more of that today.  I appreciate the frankness, even if I don’t always agree with the statements of those who exhibit it.

2. There is great value in being reminded of the historical roots of one’s faith.

Too many modern “Christians” think that what they believe is up to them alone, that the ultimate judge and jury of right and wrong is their personal conviction, whatever they decide to define as truth.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If the Scriptures are authoritative in all matters of faith and practice as Luther reminded his generation, then truth is not subject to the whims of nations or small bodies of believers or any individual’s interpretation, and it certainly isn’t determined by 21st century American political correctness.

To go back to the Scriptures and find truth that is soundly preached by Luther 1500 years later and still soundly preached now (at least by some) 500 years after Luther, provides a consistency that serves to remind modern believers that we are not in this alone.  Others have gone before and, if the world continues, others will come behind to always hold forth a light of truth and hope for the world until such day as its Creator decides to bring it to completion.

3. It takes immense courage to go against powerful authorities.

After years of speaking and writing according to what the Bible taught, and with full knowledge of the implications of his opposition to the papacy, Luther was pointedly asked at the Diet of Worms (a formal deliberative assembly held in the town of Worms, Germany) in 1521 whether the writings laid out before him on a table were his and whether he stood by their contents.  His eventual reply was:

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason (for I do not trust either in the pope or in councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God.  I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience.  May God help me.  Amen.  (p. 460 of Martin Luther by Martin Brecht, Fortress Press, 1985-93)

Whether those authorities are in the church, government, business or other parts of culture and society, it is no small task to buck the system.  You have to be deeply committed to your cause and willing to suffer the consequences that come with crossing lines vehemently guarded by others.  Not everyone who does so lives to tell about it, yet those who are so compelled couldn’t live with themselves if they failed to try.  Sometimes the paths we walk are lined with the remains and efforts of those who tried that path before us.

4. Worthwhile writings last.

It’s also true that some worthless and harmful writings last, but I’ll file that fact under “Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good.”  That I can go to the Web or the Kindle store and download for free or little cost complete writings centuries old is amazing and one that more of us ought to take advantage of.  A decade ago I would not have dreamed that I would be passing time in a doctor’s office earlier this week reading Martin Luther on a smartphone.  Such writings have lasted because they are significant and we should read them for the same reason.  Given the relative ease with which technology gives us access, we have no barrier stopping us if we are interested.

As I stated above, this isn’t a book review so much as a reflection on a few takeaways from reading the book.  As I continue my goal of reading and blogging about a book every other week throughout 2013, I intend to continue the pattern of alternating between work-related professional books and a variety of other topics of more personal interest.  Next up will be another professional book.

What have you read lately?  What’s on your list to read next?

2013 Goals Update – March 1

Posted: March 1, 2013 in Goals
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Progress Report2013 is now 1/6 complete, ready or not.  That means it is time for a progress report on the goals I set at the beginning of the year.  My first post for 2013 on January 1 is where I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  Reporting on my progress here helps hold me accountable.

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All is well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week.  I’m way ahead of schedule on this one, actually shifting to five days per week instead of three because I want to reach some rewards goals with my company’s incentive program HumanaVitality.  I admit to doing a lot of jogging in place in front of the TV some nights to reach this goal, but that movement counts like any other.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I’m back on track with this one after a rocky couple of weeks in January.  I don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  Another couple dozen pages of book #4 this weekend and I’ll be up-to-date on this goal.  I’ll read three and write book review blog posts of them in March to be where I want to be after the first quarter.

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I’m two posts behind this schedule, so that will be easy to make up.  It was nice blogging every day of my week at home last week to make up ground.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  This one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  It was actually easier getting into a routine last week and blogging every day than I’m finding it is to blog every other day.  This one needs some work.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m thrilled at the progress on this goal.  Through February, I’ve had more than half the number of blog visits I had all last year.  I’m well ahead of pace to meet this goal with February being my best month ever and one day in February being my best day ever in number of views.  Many thanks to the readers who join me on the journey!

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  Like I reported at the end of January, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be a few months before I do it again.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  This is on schedule.  Even though I’m a few days behind in my readings, I read a little more daily than required to meet the mid-year goal for completion of the ESV.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good.  This takes less than an hour weekly.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  This was reported as complete in my report on Feb. 2.

My week at home last week helped with a number of my goals.  I’m planning at least one week at home per month for the foreseeable future, so those times can help me catch up a little if needed.  I still use the low-tech approach of a little Post-It note with a checklist on the stand beside my recliner so that it’s near me nightly.

It’s time to round out the first quarter now that March is here.  I’d like to be completely up-to-date in all categories by the end of this month.  Let’s see how I do!

How are you doing on your goals for the year?

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