Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

Thrive Together

Posted: May 10, 2013 in Collaboration
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thriveThis is the last in a five-part series covering the five corporate values of my company, Humana:

Today’s subject: Thrive Together.  What does that mean and how can we live that value?

If we consider the word “thrive,” it brings to mind definitions such as growing, prospering, making progress, and flourishing.  It’s more than just maintaining one’s current state.  It is reaching one’s potential – the fullness of one’s capacity.  It suggests that such growth and prosperity happens in an environment that nourishes and allows room for growth, one that does not unnecessarily and unnaturally constrict such progress.

Most of us hope to thrive in many areas of our lives.  By combining the word thrive with the word together, however, the picture shifts from individuals focused on their own prosperity to one in which the whole group moves in a united direction for the good of all.  It is not a select few doing what is in their own self-interest; it is working in tandem with others in mutually beneficial ways to accomplish more together than we can separately.

To quote a small booklet from my company, to thrive together means that “we focus on shared success by breaking down silos, inviting collaboration and mentoring others.  We believe in, and act with, positive intention to create an environment of trust and integrity.”

So where do I fit in this picture?

It is vital that my personal way of working with others daily needs to include being trustworthy and demonstrating integrity.  I can’t just talk about a value; I have to model it.  I need to reach out to others to include them in decision-making, as well as be responsive to them when they reach out to me.  I must collaborate and cooperate with others willingly because I understand that each person involved has something important he/she brings to the table to help accomplish our business objectives.  I can’t horde areas of responsibility and lord over them like a king in a castle.  Even “my” role at the company isn’t truly “mine.”  It is the company’s and I am a temporary steward of that role and its responsibilities, beholden to the company to do what is in the best interests of the organization and not my own self-interests.

Fortunately, I am in a perfect role at work to help foster the breaking down of silos and building in their place a culture of communication, collaboration and cooperation through my role as the community manager of our enterprise social network.  Thriving together requires open, continuous, honest, and transparent communication.  There is no better way of facilitating that among our company’s associates than through our enterprise social platform.  That is the place where everyone is equal, where everyone’s voice can be heard, where anyone can strike up a conversation with anyone else at any level of the organization at any time about any subject.  That is the place where issues can be addressed, problems and roadblocks called out, model behavior praised, questions asked and answered, and business solutions crafted from thoughtful conversation held by engaged associates throughout the company.  As of our latest upgrade last week of the Socialcast software we use, it is even the place where projects can now be planned, managed, tracked, discussed and documented by the teams involved.  I stated at a conference in 2010 that my goal for our enterprise social network was to change the way communication happens at our company, and three years after the launch of that platform (to the very day today, May 10), we have made much progress in that direction.

I have worked with enough people personally at my company over nearly ten years to be absolutely convinced that the vast majority are dedicated, thoughtful, caring, hard-working people who want to do the right thing in the right way.  Sure, I’ve run into some that don’t fit that description and some who seem to be more concerned with thriving individually than thriving together, but they are the exceptions rather than the rule.  So I believe it is possible that we can live out this value of Thrive Together successfully in the years ahead, especially given the current example and focus of leadership.

Most people eagerly mimic the positive examples of their leaders and others they admire.  When top leaders model such values on a daily basis, the values become more than buzzwords.  Being value-focused can and should become a way of life that shapes our company’s future.  It requires moving from the awkward beginning of talking about values and learning about them to actually living them naturally because they become a part of who you are personally and corporately.  That takes time, but it can and will happen.  It requires that the values be broadly understood and accepted, not just handed down from above.  It requires regularly interjecting into discussions simple reminder questions like “How does this fit with our value of …?” so that we stay on track to make good values-based decisions.

I’m proud of the direction of my company.  I’m thankful for our excellent top leadership and for the countless great colleagues I have the pleasure to work with every day.  I’m genuinely excited about the significance of our focus on these five values and what they will mean to our culture over time – not just internally as employees but in the impact on the consumers we serve and the shareholders to whom we are accountable.

We can and we will Thrive Together.  It will take intentional, constant effort, but it will be worth it.

What Annoys Me the Most About Coworkers

Posted: April 3, 2013 in Teams
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Annoying CoworkersLast week I wrote a post about what I appreciate most in coworkers.  Thanks to all who made it one of my most read posts for the year to date.  This post addresses the flip side of the issue by discussing those things that really get under my skin about coworkers.  Of course, I’m writing a summary post from 40 years or working and am not airing a bunch of dirty laundry regarding my current team – a team I am incredibly impressed with and glad to be part of.

Here are the things that most annoy me in no particular order of importance:

1. Negativity.  As someone who prefers optimism over pessimism, I find it draining and depressing to be around Negative Nellies all the time.  Whether this is in the form of constantly complaining about one’s work environment, other people, personal matters at home, management, work to be done, one’s health, opinions concerning project plans, or a host of other possibilities, please don’t pollute the office and the daily experience of those around you by bringing more negativity than positivity to the office.  If you’re that miserable at work, then find something else somewhere else.  If you’re like this wherever you work, then the problem is you – not others or the work environment.

2. Excessive absenteeism.  I realize people take vacations, get sick and have family emergencies that take them away from work from time to time.  Heck, I’m writing this in the middle of such a few days myself helping to take care of my wife after an accident Sunday and in anticipation of her having surgery tomorrow.  But I have worked with some people who have more weeks per year with days away than weeks with all five days in the office.  With these folks, there always seems to be some crisis du jour that causes them to come in late, leave early, take another day off, etc.  It leaves me wondering just how many days a year these people take off and how that all reconciles with limits the company places on paid time off.  Is anyone holding them accountable?

3. Not delivering results.  I don’t care how many lofty plans you think up or what good intentions you announced at the last staff meeting.  I want to see work completed and done so in a timely manner.  I could line my cube wall with the empty promises of what others said they would do and never got around to finishing.  I’d rather line the walls with lists of amazing things accomplished by the team.

4. Managers who don’t hold people accountable.  This relates to the previous one, but focuses on the manager rather than the coworker.  I have been on teams where  managers inconceivably let slide month after month and year after year the lack of deliverables from some people on the team while others consistently churn out work at an incredible pace.  Is it because the manager doesn’t see it?  Does he not care?  Is he clueless about how to hold people accountable for performance results?  Doesn’t he realize what this disparity in apparent expectations does to the morale and potential performance of the rest of the team, not to mention the toll it takes on interpersonal dynamics?  It may be easy to convince oneself that letting people self-manage and requiring team members to hold each other accountable is the emotionally mature way to go, but doing so sure smells a lot like abdicating one’s management responsibilities when individual performance issues never get addressed.

5. Backstabbing.  I prefer to trust people until they give me a reason not to.  One way to quickly and permanently lose that trust is to stab me (or others I trust) in the back.  If you think doing so makes you look good, you’re wrong.  If you’re doing it to climb up the corporate ladder via the bleeding backs of others, then you will ultimately fail.  If you have something to say about the work I do, how I do it, or about any quality or capability I bring to the table, then do so to my face.  If you would hesitate to say it to me, then that ought to be a clue that you shouldn’t say it to others either.  Word gets around sooner or later, and a pattern of backstabbing others will get you a reputation that does you far more harm than good.  Build others up; don’t tear them down.

6. Jumping to conclusions.  I have to chuckle at times at the swift speed at which we go from very limited information to unfounded and inaccurate conclusions.  Learn to ask more questions and find out more facts about a situation before you take off on some rant or devise some unnecessary solution for a misdiagnosed problem.  I see this on our company’s internal social network all the time when someone will have one little piece of info or limited experience and then take off on some speculative discussion path rather than take the time to first inquire and understand the whole picture.

7. Failing to involve others in decision making.  It is the style of some “leaders” to think they need to make decisions in a vacuum or only with the involvement of very few people impacted, and then announce that major decision to others impacted by it.  That is a mistake.  With today’s ease of communication in organizations via internal social media, and especially if all impacted are easily gathered together for discussion prior to decisions, we are far better off tapping the collective wisdom of the entire stakeholder community before decisions are made.  This results in a far greater likelihood that the best decisions will be made and that broad buy-in from the ranks will be there from the start.  Leaders who get this right will find an appreciative workforce who provides valuable feedback, feels like they are partners in the enterprise, and who are strong advocates of final decisions made.  Leaders who continue to make major decisions behind locked doors, making some big announcement after everything is set in stone, only foster distrust about what will be handed down next.

8. Policy and process guardians with no common sense.  People who want to respond to every bad thing that ever happens with another policy or unbending process written in stone need to lighten up.  You can’t have an agile, creative, innovative, effective workplace that responds to today’s business needs and climate realities if every attempt to get work done is stifled or significantly delayed by people enforcing extremely conservative policies and complex processes that may be even prohibit the very actions they are presumably established to guide.  The business does not exist to enforce its policies and processes.  The policies and processes exist to help the business accomplish its objectives, and when they impede that progress, they need to be called out and changed by those empowered to do so.  That seems like common sense to me, but as I’ve heard others say, “If common sense was common, more people would have it.”

9. Making it hard for others to reach you.  This comes in a few different forms.  For example, when I read an email, I expect a signature block to contain basic contact info, even if you are from within my own company, but especially if you are from another company.  Unless you’re sitting within earshot of me, include your phone and any other relevant contact info in your signature block.  I don’t want to waste time having to look you up in the company directory or in previous emails or notes every time we need to talk.  If the company provides an instant messaging platform, then set up your PC to log in to it automatically every day for those quick exchanges that don’t warrant an email or phone call.  If you’re out of the office for a time, update your voice mail and email to note that so I don’t think you’re just ignoring me and so I can direct my questions to others while you are away.  If your area is responsible for some process that others must go through, then make clear on your website or somewhere who to actually contact if there is a need to talk to a real, live person instead of some generic email address.  Go out of your way to make it easy for others to reach you.

10.  Passing the buck.  How many times have you been sent from one person or department to another when trying to track down information or assistance with some matter?  I understand that not everyone is responsible for everything, especially in a large company.  Certain business areas own certain processes and aspects of the business and need to take pride in that ownership, making the areas for which they have responsibility run as smoothly as possible.  That means owning up to failures without pointing fingers to others who may have influenced failure in some way.  The kind of person who most impresses me in this regard is the one who will take ownership and initiative in finding answers, information and solutions even though it most certainly is not their actual job responsibility to do so.  That kind of customer and problem-solving focus is greatly appreciated by anyone who has ever experienced the exasperation of a string of people unwilling to take responsibility or to help.

So there you have the ten things that most annoy me about coworkers – a list compiled from reflecting on many years of work across many teams and under many different managers.

What about you?  What annoys you the most about coworkers?

Speak Your Mind for Peace of Mind

Posted: March 27, 2013 in Communication
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image from codyaray.com

image from codyaray.com

For introverts like me, I tend to let unsettling matters fester inside me until they reach a point where I have to speak up.  Unlike others who feel free to just speak whatever comes to mind the moment it comes to mind, we introverts are less likely to do so unless we’re in the presence of our closest friends and family.  There is both good and bad in that.  On the good side, our mouths tend to get us in trouble a little less.  On the bad side, we let our guts churn to an unhealthy degree before speaking up, and if we’re not careful, we eventually let go with a pent-up reaction that causes others to think, “Where did that come from?”

I’m not a fan of those who think that everyone else around them always needs to know what is on their mind.  People usually can get through their days just fine without a floodgate of other people’s opinions on a host of subjects filling their ears and their social media news feeds.  It may be people’s right to speak up, but it is also their right to remain silent.  At times, I wish more exercised the latter right.

Our country is divided on many social topics about which many millions on both sides of the issues are passionate.  That is expected and that is OK.  It’s alright for both sides to express their opinion, and each should be able to do so without fear of ridicule and reprisal.  We must celebrate the freedom of speech we enjoy in this country – a freedom too many other countries do not offer their citizens.  What we must never get to is a point where we cease to tolerate the expression of opposing viewpoints.  We must not become intolerant in the name of tolerance.  That is hypocrisy.

All of our public protests, marches, social media efforts and other forms of pleading our cause may or may not change anyone else’s mind on a subject.  It is still up to each individual what he/she believes.  Each must choose when to speak and when to remain silent.  For my own peace of mind, though, I know that when I have deep-seated feelings and beliefs on a matter, I reach a point where, for my own emotional and physical health, I have to speak up.  I encourage you, whatever your position on hot-button issues, to do the same.

Speak your mind for peace of mind, and allow others the freedom to do the same.

Book Review: “Concerning Christian Liberty” by Martin Luther

Posted: March 2, 2013 in Book Reviews
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Martin LutherIf you’re looking for a book review of something hot off the press, you’re in the wrong place with this post.  Today I completed the brief treatise by Martin Luther written in 1520 called Concerning Christian Liberty, also called On the Freedom of a Christian.  I downloaded the free Kindle version a while back not knowing how long it was and was quite surprised to find that it is only a few dozen pages long.  In this final of three treatises by Luther in 1520, he writes about the Christian’s freedom from the law (i.e., Christian liberty) once justified by faith, and that the Christian should have a desire to serve and do good works from the motivation of love and service to one’s neighbor rather than as a means to earn favor with God.

I’m not of a mind to critique the contents of this or any book by Martin Luther.  I am deeply indebted to him as a Protestant.  I am aware of the criticisms that some have against a few of his views and actions, especially from his later years, but those do not negatively reflect on his core writings which were of great significance in the Protestant Reformation of the 1500s.  For the very valuable truths contained in the writing, I suggest you take the short amount of time it takes to read it yourself.

Instead, I want to share here some reactions to reading a significant document nearly 500 years old.

1. It is refreshing to read people who write what they think and who are not afraid to offend, even if speaking the truth is offensive.

For example, in this treatise, Luther prefaces the main body of work with a letter to Pope Leo X in which he repeatedly speaks well of the pope’s personal character, but in which he clearly condemns the corruption of the Roman Catholic Church:

These things are clearer than the light to all men; and the Church of Rome, formerly the most holy of all Churches, has become the most lawless den of thieves, the most shameless of all brothels, the very kingdom of sin, death, and hell; so that not even antichrist, if he were to come, could devise any addition to its wickedness.

Come on, Marty, tell us what you really think!  It should not come as a surprise that Luther was excommunicated from the Church a few months after sending this to Pope Leo X and only a few weeks after setting fire to the papal bull (edict) from the summer of 1520 in which Leo warned Luther of excommunication unless Luther recanted many of his statements.

This frankness with which writers used to say what they think, even in the sometimes lengthy and pointed titles they gave to their writings, is refreshing.  We could use a little more of that today.  I appreciate the frankness, even if I don’t always agree with the statements of those who exhibit it.

2. There is great value in being reminded of the historical roots of one’s faith.

Too many modern “Christians” think that what they believe is up to them alone, that the ultimate judge and jury of right and wrong is their personal conviction, whatever they decide to define as truth.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If the Scriptures are authoritative in all matters of faith and practice as Luther reminded his generation, then truth is not subject to the whims of nations or small bodies of believers or any individual’s interpretation, and it certainly isn’t determined by 21st century American political correctness.

To go back to the Scriptures and find truth that is soundly preached by Luther 1500 years later and still soundly preached now (at least by some) 500 years after Luther, provides a consistency that serves to remind modern believers that we are not in this alone.  Others have gone before and, if the world continues, others will come behind to always hold forth a light of truth and hope for the world until such day as its Creator decides to bring it to completion.

3. It takes immense courage to go against powerful authorities.

After years of speaking and writing according to what the Bible taught, and with full knowledge of the implications of his opposition to the papacy, Luther was pointedly asked at the Diet of Worms (a formal deliberative assembly held in the town of Worms, Germany) in 1521 whether the writings laid out before him on a table were his and whether he stood by their contents.  His eventual reply was:

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason (for I do not trust either in the pope or in councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God.  I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience.  May God help me.  Amen.  (p. 460 of Martin Luther by Martin Brecht, Fortress Press, 1985-93)

Whether those authorities are in the church, government, business or other parts of culture and society, it is no small task to buck the system.  You have to be deeply committed to your cause and willing to suffer the consequences that come with crossing lines vehemently guarded by others.  Not everyone who does so lives to tell about it, yet those who are so compelled couldn’t live with themselves if they failed to try.  Sometimes the paths we walk are lined with the remains and efforts of those who tried that path before us.

4. Worthwhile writings last.

It’s also true that some worthless and harmful writings last, but I’ll file that fact under “Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good.”  That I can go to the Web or the Kindle store and download for free or little cost complete writings centuries old is amazing and one that more of us ought to take advantage of.  A decade ago I would not have dreamed that I would be passing time in a doctor’s office earlier this week reading Martin Luther on a smartphone.  Such writings have lasted because they are significant and we should read them for the same reason.  Given the relative ease with which technology gives us access, we have no barrier stopping us if we are interested.

As I stated above, this isn’t a book review so much as a reflection on a few takeaways from reading the book.  As I continue my goal of reading and blogging about a book every other week throughout 2013, I intend to continue the pattern of alternating between work-related professional books and a variety of other topics of more personal interest.  Next up will be another professional book.

What have you read lately?  What’s on your list to read next?

Wag More, Bark Less

Posted: February 23, 2013 in Communication
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image from localbadge.com

image from localbadge.com

Earlier this week I shared a book review of Seth Godin’s Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us as well as another post inspired by the book about leading from the bottom.  Today’s post has its genesis in one sentence found in the book where Godin lists his principles related to creating a movement.  His final principle is “Tearing others down is never as helpful to a movement as building your followers up” (p. 105).

That may seem obvious, but I’m sure it’s included because people often violate the principle.  How can we expect others to join us in accomplishing some task, making a change, joining a cause to make a difference, or simply doing our day-to-day work if we’re criticizing or complaining along the way?  Don’t we respond better in attitude and in performance when others are quick to praise and encourage rather than to tear us down?  Of course we do!

This principle reminds me of a few other maxims that are (or should be) a part of our language.  One is “You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.”  This one is literally true when it comes to attracting me as well.  I love honey and consume some almost daily.  Vinegar?  I run from the stuff; can’t stand to smell it or be in the same room with it.  Building others up is honey.  Tearing them down is vinegar.  Be honey.

Perhaps one of my favorite sayings related to this thought comes from a bumper sticker I saw last year: “Wag more, bark less.”  A Google search on the phrase will yield many results, including more paraphernalia with the saying on it than you can afford to purchase.  As a dog lover and one who believes in being encouraging to others, this one sums up the notion quite well for me.

Take a moment to review in your mind the conversations you’ve had in the past 24 hours.  In those talks, were you figuratively more often wagging your tail or barking at the listener?  Were you building up or tearing down?  You may not have noticed at the time, but chances are good that the other person did.  As you think back on the conversations you had with coworkers this past week, with people you manage, with those living under your roof, or with others you spoke with along the way, did you do more wagging or barking?

If I approach a dog, I’m going to notice if he’s wagging or barking and it’s going to impact how I respond.  Same is true for people.

As you go about your conversations today, make it a point to wag more and bark less.  It will do as much good for you as it does for those around you.

Make More Deposits Than Withdrawals

Posted: February 22, 2013 in Relationships
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Deposits Withdrawals

image from chalkboardquotes.wordpress.com

Today’s blog post is about dog training, but about much more than that.  I’ve been a fan of the dog trainer Eric Letendre for several years, reading his books, watching his videos, and eagerly reading his daily emails about the subject.  (If you’re curious, check out his book The Amazing Dog Training Man’s Ultimate Guide to Dogs or his website or YouTube channel.)

His email from a few days ago rang true as good advice not just for dog training, but for relationships in general, so I want to share it with you.  The email recalls a chapter in his book where he wrote about “how the relationship is like a checking account.  Every time you do something positive with your dog, you are making a deposit into the account.  Every time you do something negative to your dog, you are making a withdrawal.  In order for the relationship to stay positive, happy and healthy, you have to be making more deposits into the account.  Too many withdrawals without enough deposits will result in a relationship that will go negative.”

Brilliant.

Beyond the relationship you have with your pets, think about the relationships you have with key people in your life – spouse, family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, acquaintances.  Think about the best of those relationships.  Aren’t they the ones where there is more thought to giving than taking?  Don’t you get tired of being around people who always want something from you, but never give in return?  Don’t you want to free yourself from being around those who inject nothing but negativity into your life?  Don’t you want to be with those who give and who are positive?  I do.

If a relationship with someone has soured in your life, try to analyze it from the deposit/withdrawal perspective.  If you are making more positive deposits in the lives of others, chances are good they will not think twice about the occasional withdrawal you need to make.  But be careful about always being the one to withdraw, or you may just find others wanting to withdraw from the relationship.

Make more deposits than withdrawals, and as the image above says, know when to close the account.

The Best Behaviors I’ve Shown As An Employee

Posted: February 5, 2013 in Professionalism
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As promised in yesterday’s post about “The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee,” I’d like to share with you a few of the key things I think I’ve done well through the years where I’ve worked.  These are the decisions or patterns of behavior that I hope have characterized my time as an employee, from the time I got my first job as a 16-year-old small town grocery store clerk making $1.60 an hour to my current role as an online community manager for a Fortune 100 company.  I can’t help but think that people who exhibit these behaviors will have good success and satisfaction in their careers as well.

Here goes…

Take on more responsibility than is required.  I take no pleasure in doing only what is expected of me in a role.  I want to do my best at my work, and that includes acting on the thoughts that come to mind about how to improve processes, get more accomplished, better organize work, and voluntarily tackle things that nobody else seems to have on their radar.  Willingly taking on more responsibility than expected helps the business, creates new opportunities, solves problems, expands one’s capabilities, and usually paves a path to officially expanded roles and career advancement.

For example, in the early 1990s I was the associate dean of a small business college, having been promoted to that role from instructor.  One of the perennial issues at that college was the operation of the bookstore.  It was inefficiently operated, disorganized, and a frustrating experience for students as well as a financial drain for the college.  After considering the work I thought it would take to turn it around, I made an offer to the college dean that if he would give me responsibility for operating the bookstore in addition to my current duties, remove the current manager from her position and add half her salary to mine, I would turn it around.  He did just that, and I kept my end of the bargain, making it an organized and smoothly operated bookstore that next semester and thereafter.

Similarly, I can’t tell you the number of times that I have inherited (willingly or otherwise) the responsibilities of others when people on my teams have left the company or moved to other departments, leaving fewer of us to do more with less.  By accepting and even seeking out greater responsibility with a positive attitude, people learn that I am serious about getting things done.  Supervisors learn that they can give me a job to do, leave me alone, and it will get done.  If I need their help, I will ask for it.  Otherwise, they can assume all is well.  I will squeal if and when I reach my reasonable limit, but until then, they can rightly know that I’m on top of my duties.

Put in more time than is required.  While the previous suggestion centers around taking on more responsibility, this one is about putting in extra time.  I don’t remember how many years it has been since I’ve averaged only 40 hours per week.  I tend to average in the low 50s instead of the 40s.  Occasionally, I go well beyond that, but I don’t recommend doing so except for rare occasions when there simply is no other alternative, and only then for a very short period of time.  It isn’t nice when employers expect extra hours every week from salaried employees, but it is good to be in a situation where you love what you do and willingly give it more time in order to do the best job possible in a reasonable, sustainable amount of time.  Not everyone is in a life situation that allows them to give extra hours with no corresponding increase in compensation, but for someone like me whose sons are long gone from home, I have that luxury and am glad to do so.

Ask for what you want.  You may not get all you want, but you certainly won’t get what you wish for if you don’t ask for it.  There have been two times in the past four years alone when roles were created for me on other teams that would not have been created without me initiating the conversations.  In 2009 I called the manager of a different team out of the blue and pitched an idea about the possibility of a new role being created on his team with me filling it.  It took a few months to go through all the internal hoops for it to happen, but since the manager liked the idea, he worked with others as needed over several months to make it come to pass.  Something similar happened in 2011 when I thought it was necessary for our internal social network to be owned by a different business area, and for me to go along with it to that area to manage it.  Again, after a few months and several discussions with key stakeholders working together, it came to fruition.  Dream Big.  Show the potential benefits of your ideas, and go for them.

Be kind to others.  This seems rather basic, but you’d be surprised how often people don’t follow this simple principle.  Being rude, self-centered, sharp-tongued, avoiding others, being unresponsive to requests, not returning calls or emails, and generally being a pain in the behind to others just makes you the kind of person coworkers have no desire to be around.  Why would anyone want to be that person?  Most of us spend more waking hours with our work colleagues than with those who live under own own roof at home.  Why wouldn’t you want to have the best relationships possible since you’re going to be spending a huge amount of time together weekly?  I want to be thought of as someone who generously gives to others, is OK with occasional interruptions in order to help people out, speaks kindly, encourages others, and who does a reasonably good job of living the Golden Rule, treating others the way I want them to treat me.  We teach it to our kids.  Why should we be any different as adults?

Trust others.  I tend to trust others until they give me a reason not to trust.  This approach seems to be better for relationships, easier on the mind and emotions, and benefits everyone involved since trust is usually rewarded with trust returned in your direction.  I understand that there are certain roles in businesses which lend themselves to being very cautious, skeptical and perhaps lacking in trust.  People in such roles need to do what their positions require without coming off as always distrustful of others.  I know I am a person of integrity, so when someone questions that integrity in any way, it is highly offensive.  Likewise, I don’t want to appear to question someone else’s integrity unjustifiably.  Of course, if you ever give me a reason not to trust you, I will continue to cooperate and work with you as needed, but I will be extremely cautious and you will have to earn that trust back over a long period of time which is outside of your control.

Help others reach their goals.  This involves being an encourager to people, taking time to genuinely listen to them, and then taking action to the extent that it is within your ability to assist.  Even though I am not currently in a management role, it is very possible for me to help others achieve their goals by providing assistance within the scope of my responsibilities and authority.  You do not have to have positional authority to have an effective impact on the organization and individuals within it.  Individuals can have significant influence without having a single person formally reporting to them.  For those who are in supervisory positions, I consider this one of their primary responsibilities–one characterized by developing others, being a cheerleader, inspiring, encouraging, empowering, guiding, leading, and genuinely celebrating others’ success as they accomplish challenging business objectives and personal career goals.

Looking at the above patterns of behavior that I believe characterize the bulk of my work history, I would summarize them in two simple thoughts: (1) strive to do your very best, and (2) focus on others as much (or more) than you focus on yourself.

So there you have it–my worst mistakes discussed in a previous post, and several positive and helpful patterns of behavior that have contributed significantly to success and satisfaction in my work.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about work experiences and patterns that have shaped your career.

The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee

Posted: February 5, 2013 in Professionalism
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I believe in the value of sharing mistakes I’ve made in the hope that others may benefit from my experience and avoid making those same mistakes.  To that end, I thought it might be good to reflect on poor choices I’ve made in various roles across multiple companies and post about them here.  The list below isn’t an exhaustive list of everything I can imagine others might do that is detrimental to their career or work relationships.  It is merely a description of some things I wish I had not done along the way.

Failing to speak up.  I despise conflict, so I too often avoid the hard conversations that may be confrontational.  I want to get along with people.  I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I want to keep the peace and just do my best work in a calm environment without any drama.  As one who has always tested on the introvert side of personality inventories and who is never going to be the life of the party, being quiet comes more naturally than speaking up, but that isn’t always helpful.

The down side of this otherwise admirable quality is that issues which need to be addressed may not be dealt with in a timely manner.  Problems persist and the potential negative consequences include less than optimal team performance and dynamics, poorer business decisions due to lack of input, not to mention the inner turmoil that comes from remaining silent when something is bugging me.  It took me a while to realize that the actual negative consequences of failing to speak up are worse than the imagined consequences of speaking up.  That is, the difficulty of hard conversations is rarely (if ever) as bad as you imagine it might be, especially if you approach such conversations with genuineness and kindness.

Seeing some coworkers as enemies.  It’s no secret that in an organization of any size there will be some strained relationships.  Different personalities, values and agendas practically guarantee that people will occasionally be at odds with one another.  What must not happen, though, is reaching a point where you always think negatively of certain coworkers and, consequently, treat them in a manner that perpetuates the negative relationship.  I may not like the way some people act.  I may believe rightly that they would throw me under the bus in a heartbeat if they had the chance and if they thought it would somehow make them look good or help them climb the ladder or advance their personal agenda.  But I am first and foremost an employee of my company who is hired to help the business accomplish its objectives, and that sometimes means working cooperatively with others in order to advance the cause of the business, even when every fiber of my being would just like to tell the other person where to go.  Be the bigger person and focus on the business goals and objectives, not the interpersonal difficulties.

Leaving too soon.  I’m coming up on my tenth anniversary this year at my company, so this isn’t a current issue with me, but if I take a close look at my resume going back 30+ years of full-time work, I can see some times where I took the easy way out to go to a different company or organization rather than stay and overcome a difficult situation.  Maybe those were the right decisions, maybe not.  I’m sure I had no problem justifying them at the time, and once I had mentally checked out of the roles, it was just a matter of time before I officially left.  However, when I look over someone’s resume today when looking to fill a role and I see a lot of short-term gigs of two years or less, it raises a huge red flag and makes me wonder what kind of staying power the person has.  I want to be someone who loves what he does (as I do) and who cares enough to change a “flight” instinct to one of confronting issues and overcoming them.  I suppose this mistake is related to the first one above in that it can be a way to avoid conflict.

Responding in anger.  It is never a good idea to fire off an email when you’re angry.  It is rarely the wise choice to spout off with what you want to come back with in a heated meeting, phone call, or face-to-face encounter.  In situations where you have the opportunity to hit the pause button before responding, do so.  I recently had this happen when I received some unwelcome news via email at work that made me a very unhappy camper.  My every instinct was to fire off a sharp reply to some people much higher in the org chart than I am or ever expect to be.  Fortunately, I just vented my frustration with my understanding teammates sitting nearby and announced that I was taking a walk.  On that walk I stopped by the desks of some people I hadn’t seen in a while to catch up with them and to have some friendly conversation which put me in a very different mood.  By the time I was back at my desk, I was able to respond to the email in a rational, professional manner.

Another practice I have used countless times to avoid responding in anger and to avoid rash decisions of many types is to sleep on a matter overnight.  It is amazing how different some things appear in the light of day compared to how they looked at the end of a long day or evening when you were tired and not at your best.  It may seem silly, but a general rule of thumb I have lived by for decades is that I don’t make major, life-changing decisions when it’s dark outside (whether anger is involved or not).  The world won’t end and most substantive opportunities won’t pass you by if you sleep on some decisions overnight.

So there you have four big mistakes I know I’ve made more than once in my career and with which I still occasionally struggle.  Surely people I have worked with could easily think of additional mistakes I’ve made.

If you’re willing, I’d love to hear in your comments about some of the lessons you’ve learned the hard way in your career.

Coming soon in a post will be the flip side of this topic – some of the things I’ve done in various roles that proved to be good choices and very helpful for my employers and for me.  I wouldn’t want to leave you with the impression that I’m rotten to the core.

Til then…

Acknowledge the Elephant in the Room

Posted: January 19, 2013 in Communication
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ElephantintheRoom-Leo_CullumHow many times have you been in a conversation with others and wanted to bring up some obvious topic, but failed to do so?  How many times have you sat in meetings, heard proposals, watched presentations, discussed important matters, or been embarrassed on behalf of someone else, all the while dying to say what is really on your mind, but never mustering the courage to say it?  Why do we hold back and so often fail to acknowledge the elephant in the room?

In the case of meetings at work, perhaps you can’t bring yourself to openly disagree with someone higher up the org chart.  Maybe you are the kind of person who avoids conflict at all cost, both in personal and professional settings.  Maybe you fear the known or unknown consequences of being that person to bring up what you and probably many others wish someone would address.

If you don’t acknowledge obvious issues, it is very possible that the consequences of failing to address them will be worse than doing so.  For example, if you have relationship issues with someone, but try to keep the peace instead of putting matters on the table, aren’t the potential emotional and physical consequences of holding it all inside worse than the temporary awkwardness and unpleasantness of the dreaded conversation?  If you are being pitched a plan of action by a manager or someone higher up than you in an organization, and you know that the suggested path has major flaws, aren’t you complicit in failed and potentially harmful business decisions if you do not raise the concerns you have?  If others are trying to get you to go down some path that could be dangerous or have serious negative consequences personally and/or professionally, don’t you have the responsibility to listen to your intuition and interject a cautionary word into the conversation?  If someone’s dress, hygiene, personal habits or behavior are the subject of much discussion behind his/her back, isn’t the decent thing to do to have that needed and difficult private conversation in order to help the other person?

When it comes to acknowledging elephants in the room, few seem willing to be the one to step up and do so.  Oh, how we need more people willing to take that step!  Doing this doesn’t mean you have to do so in an unkind, harsh, abrasive, offensive way.  Besides, you won’t likely succeed in promoting positive change with that approach, anyway.  Instead, with a genuine heart of compassion, caring, and concern for what is wrong or what might fail, you have an incredible opportunity to change the path of a person, group, or entire company from darkness to light, from failure to success.  Those on the hearing end are usually able to sense genuine concern; they will most likely be able to see the intentions of your heart and hear your message, even if it is one that is difficult for them to hear.

Nobody benefits from having a bunch of “yes” men around.  While I’ll never be in a position of corporate power by virtue of the position held, if I ever was, I would hope to be fortunate enough to surround myself with men and women who always speak the truth, even when it is hard for them to deliver the message and perhaps harder for me to hear.  If it is my thoughts, plans, attitude, behavior or anything else that is ever the elephant in the room, then I desperately need and want someone to tell me that.  Do it gently and kindly and (if possible) privately, but by all means, do it!  I’m a big boy.  I can handle it.

I have no idea what life situations you are in where you feel you need to bring up something “obvious” that nobody else is saying, but I suspect you can think of one or two such situations at this time.  I strongly encourage you, in the interest of doing what is most helpful and kind and beneficial in the long run, acknowledge with whomever else needs to hear that there is an elephant in the room.  The benefit gained from the honest conversation will far outweigh the temporary fear of negative consequences that has held you back so far.

7 Lessons Learned From Blogging Every Day of 2012

Posted: January 7, 2013 in Blogging
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SevensI knew that accomplishing the goal of writing a brief lesson learned blog post for all 366 days of 2012 would be a challenge.  I had never attempted anything remotely close to that before, so the process itself was as much a learning experience as the subjects of individual daily lessons posted.  Having had a week to reflect on the completion of that 130,000+ word venture, here are seven lessons I take away from the experience:

1. It is more difficult to write few words than to write many words.  Each of my daily lessons was to be no more than 366 words, and for most of those I admit to having to rid them of too much written on my first draft.  Deciding what entire lines of thought had to be sacrificed and how to better phrase something in fewer words is difficult, but a very valuable lesson.  A well-known quote comes to mind: “I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short.” – Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales (1656-1657), no. 16. (also attributed to Mark Twain and others – take your pick).  It also helped as I wrote to remember the words of Elmore Leonard: “I try to leave out the parts that people skip.”

2. Reflecting on each day’s events is a constant source of learning.  No day comes and goes without the opportunity to learn something from what transpires.  Intentionally taking time near the end of the day to reflect on events, conversations, feelings, successes, failures, etc. makes that learning far more likely.

3. If you write it, they won’t necessarily come.  My writing was primarily for me and not for others.  Still, I am grateful for the more than 10,000 views the blog received during 2012.  That’s actually a very small number given the quantity of posts, so one of the lessons is that if a blogger really wants readers, he has to do more than just write.  I knew that, of course, before writing last year, but the experience confirmed that there is other promotional work to be done (one of my goals for 2013).

4. Writing is addictive.  Gloria Steinam (probably the only time you will ever see me quote her) said, “I do not like to write – I like to have written.”  While I understand her point, I confess that I really do like to write as well – to sit at the keyboard, think things through, write, revise, repeat.  If I could fill my days (and pay my bills) doing nothing but this, I would gladly do so.  After just one week of changing my pattern to blogging every other day instead of every day, I feel like I’ve slacked off tremendously.  The current pattern, though, allows me more time to write and reflect on particular posts than last year’s daily process, so this year’s emphasis is more on quality than quantity.  While I don’t expect to ever be a “professional” writer, I understand the sentiment of Leo Rosten: “The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.”

5. Ambitious goals can be met one day at a time.  Setting out to write 366 posts is daunting to say the least, but I didn’t have to write all 366 at once.  I needed to write one at a time.  That, I could do.  The same is true for any ambitious goal – break it down into bite-sized pieces and then take one bite.

6. If you get behind, don’t panic or quit.  There were a number of times throughout the year when I was one or more days behind in posting.  That’s OK.  I just needed to post two per day now and then (usually weekends) to eventually get caught up.

7. Engagement with readers is encouraging.  The periodic affirmation that comes from the occasional “like” of a post or reader comment is wonderfully encouraging.  It would be nice to help or touch many thousands with what I write, but connecting positively with one other person rejuvenates me and keeps me going.  So my thanks go to everyone who ever engages with me here or elsewhere in response to what I write.  You are a hefty part of my inspiration to continue.

Of course, the 366 daily lessons learned from last year were additional lessons already shared here about a host of subjects.  I wanted to reflect on the overall experience, though, and see what blogging itself every day for a year yielded.  The above seven lessons are that result for me.

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