Posts Tagged ‘Work-Life Balance’

2013 Goals Update – May 16

Posted: May 16, 2013 in Goals
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Progress ReportIn my first post for the year on January 1, I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  I review my progress here monthly to help hold me accountable.  I have some good news and some bad news on my goals for 2013 to date.  The good news is that I’m well ahead or on target for several of them.  The bad news is that I’m woefully behind on a couple and it will take quite a bit of time to catch up.  Catching up is possible, especially since I’m now in a stretch of three weeks I’m (mostly) taking off from work with more time daily to devote to them, so I’m hopeful that my report next month looks better.  Here are the details…

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All continues to be well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.  I look forward to the 1-year anniversary of reaching my target weight July 26.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week. I’m way ahead of schedule on this one, having done it enough days to already be in the month of July ticking them off a calendar.  With our company’s annual 100 Day Dash starting June 3 where my goal is to average 10,000 steps per day for 100 days, I’ll easily pass the goal for the year by the end of that Dash in September.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I still don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm and lay down, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.  I’m enjoying a little extra time in bed during these weeks off in May.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  I am more behind on this goal than any other.  I’m a few dozen pages away from completing book #5 for the year.  By this time, I should already be in book #10.  I have some work to do!

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I’ve posted 59 blog posts this year, but an every-other-day schedule would have me at 68 already, so I need some daily ones in this time off to reach the goal.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  Same as reported last time, this one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.  I still think through the sequence on days I blog to see what is worth writing about, but other days I tend to forget about the framework even though I may still do two of the three instinctively every day.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m running 20% ahead of schedule on this one and will pass last year’s total readership either this month or next.  Many thanks to all of you for making that happen!

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  As reported before, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be this summer before I do it again.  Time to start making notes on what the focus of these next ones should be for each son.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  I am a month behind on this goal.  My time off this month is allowing me the luxury of peace and quiet at home to do more reading, so the report on this next month should be much improved.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good. This takes less than an hour weekly, so it’s easy to stay current.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  Completed in January.

Life has been a little weird around our house the last six weeks.  My wife just had her second knee replacement surgery since early April, so our schedules are anything but normal.  I learned from the first one that I can’t keep a regular work and personal routine going with her in the hospital and rehab and then needing more help than normal around the house.  That’s a large part of why I’m taking off so many days from work now through the end of the month.  I needed to take some time off, anyway, for a breather and to work on some of the above matters that are very important to me.

So that’s how I’m doing on my goals after the first 4+ months of 2013.  What about you?  How are you doing on your goals for the year?

What I Would Do Different As a Dad If I Had the Chance

Posted: April 28, 2013 in Parenting
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My son, Brian, bow fishing at Lake Moultrie, SC

My son, Brian, bow fishing at Lake Moultrie, SC

My two sons have been out on their own for many years.  The oldest, Brian, lives in Folly Beach, South Carolina where he loves his life and work.  The youngest, Jason, lives in Louisville with his wife and two-year-old daughter.  He and I work for the same company.  I have many reasons to be thankful as a dad for each of my boys.  I am grateful for the life lessons they taught me as we experienced this father-son thing by trial and error over many years.  I hope there are some important lifelong lessons they have learned from me, either from my good example or from their resolve not to follow my bad example.

It isn’t possible to go back and redo one’s life as a parent, and I don’t sit around beating myself up for what I didn’t do well.  That would be pointless.  Every parent does some things well and other things poorly.  However, I can’t help but reflect on the whole experience from time to time and think of things I would change if I had the chance to do it all over again.  This post reflects on those changes.  Perhaps some of the following will resonate with new dads or dads-to-be in a way that encourages them to avoid my mistakes.  Of course, the principles apply to moms and moms-to-be as well.  Maybe there is still time for me to take my own advice in years to come as opportunities arise.

While there are things I think I did well, this post is about what I would do different, so here they are:

1. Commit to fewer things outside the home.  Kids need time with their parents, so parents need to realize that once they make the decision to bring children into this world, nurturing, raising, educating and shaping those children is now a significant priority for the next couple of decades (at least).

I’m one who likes to commit to a lot of tasks, pushing myself to accomplish much.  That is still evident in the post from earlier this year about my goals for 2013.  I’m already thinking about some significant goals for 2014.  As a result, time at home and time with my boys suffered from such commitments.  It is still really hard for me to just have down time to chill.  For example, I multitask if the TV is on by checking various websites or social media sites, jogging in place to make sure I reach 10,000 steps for the day, doing some mindless chores or plowing through emails that have piled up.  But to just sit and enjoy some show or movie?  Not likely.

The danger with such a bent toward multitasking and over-committing is that you can see your child as just one more demand on your schedule competing for limited time that is already spread too thin.  It doesn’t help that people are typically having children when they are young and also eager to climb the corporate ladder or establish themselves professionally.  Competition for attention is built in to the stage of life.  No wonder our hair turns gray.  We earn it.

There were too many times when I inwardly considered requests from my sons to play or do something else as a hindrance in me getting other things done that were on my list.  My boys should never have a reason to think that they are an interruption or not as important as other things I’m doing.  They are potentially the most significant mark I will leave on this planet when I’m gone, so why would I not invest the most time possible in them?  They deserve it because of who they are and because I love them.

Daughter-in-law Lauren, granddaughter Abby, and Jason

2. Be slow to anger.  Parenting is tough and it can be very tiring.  Heck, life can be tiring with or without kids.  It is easier to react emotionally and inappropriately when you’re tired or frustrated, and I know I did that too often raising my boys (reminder: once is too often for this behavior).  I remember times when there was fear in their eyes and body language because I lost control, yelling at them or spanking too harshly.  What made me angriest was disobedience.  I believe it’s OK to spank, but not out of anger and not excessively.

If I had little ones around again, I’d work harder to remain in control of my emotions.  I’d know to keep my mouth shut at the height of a potentially explosive moment, excusing myself while I found a way to calm down before speaking or acting in a way I would later regret.  I would never want to be the reason for fear in the eyes of my kids.  As their dad, I need to be a safe haven, a protector, a solid rock they turn to for security, not some out-of-control maniac frightening them with his anger.  They deserve better than that.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression and make anyone think such behavior was a daily or frequent occurrence in our home.  It wasn’t.  But the few times I can recall it happening were still wrong and I wish I had been slower to anger, even when they disobeyed.  Children don’t know what we know or have the same priorities and perspectives we have, nor should we expect them to.  They’re kids.  We need to remember that.

3. Love their mother more.  It’s important for children to see their parents love one another, support each other, be kind to each other, be friends with each other, maturely resolve conflicts, and model the kind of relationship you hope the children one day grow up to have with their spouses.  While I love my wife of nearly 34 years, she and I are extremely different in many significant ways.  That opens the door to us doing our own things separately with much of our time, sometimes making fun of those differences or even being irritated by them.

What did our children think about and what did they learn from the relationship Linda and I modeled in the home?  It is sobering to realize that the example we set is what our children are going to grow up thinking is normal.  What we say about such relationships doesn’t carry nearly as much weight as the example we set in the home day after day.  Was that example consistent with what we said?  Was I the spouse I should have modeled for my boys?  Sometimes I got it right, but I know many times I did not.

Brian, Jason and me sporting our Kentucky and Ale-8 gear

Brian, Jason and me sporting our Kentucky and Ale-8 gear

4. Be more of a spiritual leader.  There is a big difference between being active in one’s church or religious community and being a spiritual leader in the home.  As one who was in a ministerial role during some of my sons’ formative years, I know I lived out my faith in a number of ways, but did I do a good job in the home?  Did I talk about matters of faith in everyday circumstances when teachable moments arose?  Did I pray with and for my boys enough?  Did I lead my family in devotions and clearly explain the gospel to them in word and in deed (and, yes, explaining the gospel takes words, not just a good example)?

As a Christian who understands far more about matters of faith today than when my boys were young, I’d sure like a do-over in this area because I think I did a poor job.  Like many parents, I put too much emphasis on what the boys should be learning and doing in church as opposed to what I should be teaching them in the home.  I have since captured in black and white what I believe to be the heart of my faith and shared it with them in personal hand-written letters, but that isn’t the same when they are adults as what you might do over many formative years when they are under the same roof.

Ultimately, each person makes his/her own decisions in matters of faith.  What parents do or do not do is no guarantee of what their children will grow up to believe or how they will behave.  Still, the proverb to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) rings true as good advice today for parents who care about influencing their children’s spiritual life.  To abdicate that responsibility for any reason, especially the currently popular notion of not wanting to influence the child in religious/spiritual matters, is not an option for one who cares about parenting in a manner consistent with biblical principles.  I didn’t abdicate the responsibility, but I didn’t fulfill it as well as I could have, either.

So…

When I ponder how I might sum up in one statement what I would do different as a dad if I had the chance to do it over, I think I’d summarize by saying this…

I’d take them fishing more often.

Wait!  Hear me out… My boys loved to fish just as I did as a boy.  They were fascinated by it and loved it when their Grandpa would take them on occasion.  When I look at the items listed above, this one act captures the essence of what I would do different in a practical way:

  • More fishing together would mean fewer non-family-time commitments outside the home.
  • It’s hard to get angry with your boys when you’re sitting on the side of a pond enjoying nature and experiencing the excitement of that nibble or catch.
  • Sometimes the most loving thing a dad can do for a mom is to take the kids away for some father-son time and leave Mom to rest or catch her breath, joyful that her husband and children are out having fun and bonding.  I would invite her to go fishing, too, but I don’t think she’d be much interested.
  • When waiting for the fish to bite, you have to talk about something, and what better to talk about in such a setting than our awesome Creator and His magnificent world, how He loves us and what He expects from us?

A few decades ago, I confess that I might have considered spending time fishing as a bother and a waste of time when there was so much else to be done.  I regret that.  My boys needed that experience and time with me, and I needed it with them.  My sons and I did have fun and still do.  I think I have a very good relationship with both of them, but it could have been better earlier if I had done something as simple as taking them fishing more often.

If you’re the parent of young children or you expect to be in the future, be the best parent and spouse in the present that you can be.  Learn from the mistakes and experiences of others before your kids are grown and out of the house.  You don’t get a do-over raising your children.

On My First Day of Vacation…

Posted: April 15, 2013 in Work-Life Balance
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Vacation Day 1In yesterday’s post, I bemoaned how difficult it is for me to avoid working on days I’m supposed to be on vacation.  I thought I’d reflect on this first day of vacation and tell you how I did…

I didn’t avoid work completely, putting in about two hours total over various sessions from a few minutes to maybe 30 minutes in length.  That isn’t too bad, but it’s still more than I hoped to do.  Part of the issue was the need to redo an expense report that I didn’t complete correctly last week due to new procedures in place I hadn’t used before.  When the report was rejected today, I figured I needed to do it over and resubmit since I was at the time limit for submitting it.  I also spent a few minutes here and there deleting emails or dealing with very quick ones I could knock off.  A few other random matters took a little time, but not too much.

The pressure came when every instinct in me wanted to grab my work laptop and dive in to something that would suck me into some black hole of more time that I should spend working today.  I successfully avoided that temptation, I’m glad to say.  In fact, I started the day with a task list of a number of things to do, none of which were work-related, and I returned to that throughout the day to guide how I spent my time.  The second item on the list was spending five hours reading, so that fortunately took a major chunk of the day.  I’m still working on the list and may not complete it, but I put a serious dent in it.  I’ll add the undone items to tomorrow’s already long list.

Tomorrow won’t be much different since it is the one day this week I actually must go to work for a meeting, but I have a host of other things that must also get accomplished, so I’ll try to keep the work hours to 2-3 for the day.  That isn’t ideal, but there’s no way around it tomorrow.

Overall, I did better today than I normally have in the past, but I still have a way to go to be able to walk away from work on my days off as I should.

Why Is It So Hard For Me To Take Time Off?

Posted: April 14, 2013 in Work-Life Balance
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Make A LifeExcept for one meeting which I must attend in two days, I have scheduled time off from work for the week.  Part of the reason is that I’m officiating at an out-of-town wedding next weekend and I want plenty of time to edit and rehearse what I’ll be saying at the ceremony before I travel to the destination Friday.  The other reason is that I’m almost at the maximum vacation days that my company allows us to build up before we stop accruing more.  I can’t let that happen.

My problem is that I haven’t successfully walked completely away from a week of work in a very long time.  My pattern is that if, for example, I plan five days off, I end up putting in the equivalent of 2-3 full work days during the five.  Or if I schedule two days off, I end up working two half-days during that time.

I know that I need to be able to walk away from work, but it’s really hard for me.  I’m not bragging about some exemplary work ethic.  I’m honestly asking for advice on how to get better at waking away for longer periods of time.

Here are some of the factoids that relate to this issue for me:

  • I really love what I do, so it’s actually fun and fulfilling for me to spend time doing it.
  • Since I’m the only one at work who does what I do on a daily basis, it is hard for me to step away knowing that not all that I normally do will be done in my absence, even though my colleagues who back me up will take care of the bigger, more pressing matters.
  • I don’t like coming back to hundreds of emails that accumulate during a long absence, so I opt for less stress upon my return by handling some of those emails on days I’m supposed to be off.
  • My work to-do list is always long, so it seems less stressful to take the time to knock things off the list during days I’m supposed to be on vacation rather than allow the to-do list to get longer and longer while away.

What do you think?  Do you share my dilemma or does it sound totally foreign and weird to you?  What advice do you have for me?

For the next seven days I have the chance to work less on a vacation than I have in years.  How do I resist the temptation to work instead?

2013 Goals Update – April 6

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Goals
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With Progress Report2013 now 1/4 complete, it’s time to report on how I’m doing with the many goals I set for the year.  My first post for 2013 on January 1 is where I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  Reporting on my progress here helps hold me accountable, so that’s why I’m doing these monthly updates.

There’s good news and bad news on the goals front this month.  The good news is that I’m still doing well on some of them.  The bad news is that I’m more behind on others now than I was a month ago.  One big reason why I’m more behind than expected is that I had to cancel a week of vacation for late March where my plan was to catch up with the reading and writing goals.  With simply too much happening at work to walk away for a week, I felt the impact of not having that time for working on my goals.  I’ve scheduled a vacation week for April and another for May to try to catch up some, but with other schedule oddities going on that I will mention below, it will still be a challenge to completely catch up anytime soon.

It is what it is, so here is the update…

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All continues to be well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.  I look forward to reaching the 1-year anniversary of reaching my target weight this summer.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week. I’m still way ahead of schedule on this one because I’ve been doing it five days per week instead of three for a couple of months now to reach some reward goals with my company’s incentive program, HumanaVitality.  In March, I ran my first 5K race in about 5-6 years when my company scheduled one just for our employees and families in downtown Louisville.  My race time was the slowest 5K I’ve ever done at 31 minutes, 18 seconds (my previous race before this one, for example, was under 24 minutes), but I’ll use it as a benchmark going forward.  At least there were only seven people my age or older who finished before me.  I was #232 overall out of 2074 finishers.  I’ll take it.  Also helping with this goal is that the weather is finally getting warmer, so I will be more inclined to go for runs or longer walks with the dog than during the cold weather.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I still don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm and lay down, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.  I’m probably pretty close on this one.  Unless I buy something like a Fitbit that tracks sleep, I won’t know exactly how well I’m doing on this goal, but I’ll have a good idea.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  I really bombed on this one in March.  I didn’t complete any book.  I’m about 2/3 through the one I’m reading, but this is one of the goals impacted by me canceling my vacation a couple of weeks ago.  I have much to do here.

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I keep lagging a few days behind in this goal, having published 45 posts this year when an every-other-day schedule would have me at 48 by now.  Catching up won’t be difficult.  Blogging daily for one week would do it.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  As I reported last month, this one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.  I still think through the sequence on days I blog to see what is worth writing about, but other days I tend to forget about the framework even though I may still do two of the three instinctively every day.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m very happy to say that as of today I’m running 46% ahead of schedule on this one.  At the current pace, I’ll pass last year’s total readership in either April or, more likely, May.  A couple of pairs of popular posts have helped the cause with each receiving hundreds of views and the most popular (The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee) now approaching 1000 views.

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  As reported before, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will likely be this summer before I do it again.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  I am more behind on this goal than any other.  Again, canceling the vacation week really hurt me here.  I have much to do to get back on track, but just a few solid days of vacation devoted to this would do it.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good. This takes less than an hour weekly, so it’s easy to stay current.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  Completed in January.

I don’t expect to be caught up on all goals by the end of April.  My wife just had knee replacement surgery two days ago and will have the other knee replaced in about four weeks.  She needs assistance from me, of course, when she returns home, and the schedule meanwhile is way different than normal.  I’m also officiating at a wedding later in April, going out of town for a couple of days for that.  Whenever I perform a wedding, I rehearse it a bazillion times so I can say everything just right without depending much on notes, so I know I’ll spend a lot of hours on that the next couple of weeks instead of other matters my time would normally be given to.  That isn’t a complaint, of course, since it’s a great privilege to officiate at the wedding of dear friends.  It’s just a notation that spending more time in one effort means there is less time to spend in others, so there may be consequences related to these goals that I’ll have to make up later.

So that’s how I’m doing on my goals after the first three months of 2013.  What about you?  How are you doing on your goals for the year?

Lessons From American Idol

Posted: March 6, 2013 in Learning
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American IdolMy wife and I have enjoyed watching American Idol for years.  I missed the first season, but have been a big fan since then.  Now that we’re into the phase where America votes weekly on who remains, I thought it might be nice to reflect on some of the many lessons that can come from watching this show.  Feel free to add your own in the comments.

1. People aren’t always as talented as they think they are.  The early episodes of every season are proof of this.  Some are just painful to hear.  William Hung, anyone?

2. Talent can be found in unexpected places.  I’m not talking geography here since people travel all over the country to these auditions.  I’m referring to the fact that a booming voice might come out of a soft-spoken, unkempt, homeless person nobody would ever suspect as a good singer.  File this one under “can’t judge a book by its cover.”

3. You need social skills in addition to talent.  The contestant who has a great voice but who can’t get along with others, also fails to connect with the voting public, and eventually loses.  It’s not just about you and your talent; it’s about living in the context of a community and relationships, and that’s a whole different ballgame.

4. Only the strong survive.  I feel for the singers who get matched up in group week with people they can’t relate to or with people who don’t want to do their fair share.  That week requires everyone to work hard – all night if needed, and those who slack off tend not to progress to the next round.

5. Never assume you’re safe.  How many singers through the years have been surprisingly eliminated early in the voting, most likely because people didn’t bother to vote for them since they considered them safe?  Assume nothing.

6. Your vote counts.  Or, more accurately this season, your 50 votes count.  If you don’t vote, don’t gripe about the results.  Do your duty and vote if you care about an outcome.

7. Not everyone who judges you is worthy of doing so.  While the four judges this year had sole authority to determine the top twenty, they may or may not have made the right calls.  They may not be representative of what America wants.  They may have hidden agendas and criteria we never hear about that impacts their decisions.  Do I personally really care about anything Nicki Minaj ever thinks or says?  No.  But she’s paid the big bucks to sit there looking dumb and sounding dumber, so whether she is worthy or not isn’t the point now.  Contestants will still be impacted by her comments for good or bad.

8. Give it your all.  When singers play it safe and just blend in with other so-so performances, that doesn’t cut it.  You need to give it your heart and soul and know that you left it all on the stage.  The final results may be in others’ hands, but you can at least know you did your best.  There is great satisfaction in that.

9. Always keep learning and improving.  Whatever your current skill level, there is room for improvement, so do what it takes to learn and grow and reach your goals.

10. Make friends along the way.  Nobody wants to be around others whom they fear would willingly stab them in the back to get ahead.  Don’t be such a person.  Be the one who takes the time to notice and befriend others as you go.  Praise the members of the band.

11. Climbing a ladder isn’t a lifestyle.  There is more to life than just trying to get somewhere else in the future.  It’s about experiencing the present, too.  You climb ladders for a short while so you can do something else at the end of that ladder.  Know when to step off the ladder and do other things.

12. It’s OK not to get the most votes.  If there are 10,000 people trying out and only one can win, does that mean 9,999 are losers?  No!  It just means that the system is set up to give a greater reward to one person.  Many contestants go on to very successful careers without winning the competition.  You get to define success in your life.  Don’t let others do that for you.

13. Fame and fortune comes at a cost.  Some have the personal character, wisdom and right people nearby to handle fame and fortune.  Some give in to its temptations and flame out early.  If you think you’ll be the one making all the calls about what happens with your life at the level of stardom these singers seek, you’re wrong.  There are trade-offs your dreams didn’t envision.

14. Enjoy the ride.  We know that some things can’t last forever.  That’s OK.  Be thankful that it happened as long as it did.

15. Give back.  You didn’t get where you are completely by yourself.  Parents, friends, teachers, even bitter enemies all worked to help shape you into the person you are, as did your own dogged determination.  Others are invested in you with their lives.  Give back to them.

I’m sure I’ve missed some obvious lessons that my fellow American Idol fans can think of.  What are they?  Tell me in a comment.

p.s. – If you haven’t figured it out by now, the lessons above don’t apply just to a singing competition.

2013 Goals Update – March 1

Posted: March 1, 2013 in Goals
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Progress Report2013 is now 1/6 complete, ready or not.  That means it is time for a progress report on the goals I set at the beginning of the year.  My first post for 2013 on January 1 is where I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  Reporting on my progress here helps hold me accountable.

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  All is well on this one.  I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week.  I’m way ahead of schedule on this one, actually shifting to five days per week instead of three because I want to reach some rewards goals with my company’s incentive program HumanaVitality.  I admit to doing a lot of jogging in place in front of the TV some nights to reach this goal, but that movement counts like any other.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I’m back on track with this one after a rocky couple of weeks in January.  I don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  Another couple dozen pages of book #4 this weekend and I’ll be up-to-date on this goal.  I’ll read three and write book review blog posts of them in March to be where I want to be after the first quarter.

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I’m two posts behind this schedule, so that will be easy to make up.  It was nice blogging every day of my week at home last week to make up ground.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  This one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012.  It was actually easier getting into a routine last week and blogging every day than I’m finding it is to blog every other day.  This one needs some work.  Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection.  Without that, I’m missing it too many nights.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m thrilled at the progress on this goal.  Through February, I’ve had more than half the number of blog visits I had all last year.  I’m well ahead of pace to meet this goal with February being my best month ever and one day in February being my best day ever in number of views.  Many thanks to the readers who join me on the journey!

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  Like I reported at the end of January, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be a few months before I do it again.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  This is on schedule.  Even though I’m a few days behind in my readings, I read a little more daily than required to meet the mid-year goal for completion of the ESV.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  So far, so good.  This takes less than an hour weekly.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  This was reported as complete in my report on Feb. 2.

My week at home last week helped with a number of my goals.  I’m planning at least one week at home per month for the foreseeable future, so those times can help me catch up a little if needed.  I still use the low-tech approach of a little Post-It note with a checklist on the stand beside my recliner so that it’s near me nightly.

It’s time to round out the first quarter now that March is here.  I’d like to be completely up-to-date in all categories by the end of this month.  Let’s see how I do!

How are you doing on your goals for the year?

The Best Behaviors I’ve Shown As An Employee

Posted: February 5, 2013 in Professionalism
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As promised in yesterday’s post about “The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee,” I’d like to share with you a few of the key things I think I’ve done well through the years where I’ve worked.  These are the decisions or patterns of behavior that I hope have characterized my time as an employee, from the time I got my first job as a 16-year-old small town grocery store clerk making $1.60 an hour to my current role as an online community manager for a Fortune 100 company.  I can’t help but think that people who exhibit these behaviors will have good success and satisfaction in their careers as well.

Here goes…

Take on more responsibility than is required.  I take no pleasure in doing only what is expected of me in a role.  I want to do my best at my work, and that includes acting on the thoughts that come to mind about how to improve processes, get more accomplished, better organize work, and voluntarily tackle things that nobody else seems to have on their radar.  Willingly taking on more responsibility than expected helps the business, creates new opportunities, solves problems, expands one’s capabilities, and usually paves a path to officially expanded roles and career advancement.

For example, in the early 1990s I was the associate dean of a small business college, having been promoted to that role from instructor.  One of the perennial issues at that college was the operation of the bookstore.  It was inefficiently operated, disorganized, and a frustrating experience for students as well as a financial drain for the college.  After considering the work I thought it would take to turn it around, I made an offer to the college dean that if he would give me responsibility for operating the bookstore in addition to my current duties, remove the current manager from her position and add half her salary to mine, I would turn it around.  He did just that, and I kept my end of the bargain, making it an organized and smoothly operated bookstore that next semester and thereafter.

Similarly, I can’t tell you the number of times that I have inherited (willingly or otherwise) the responsibilities of others when people on my teams have left the company or moved to other departments, leaving fewer of us to do more with less.  By accepting and even seeking out greater responsibility with a positive attitude, people learn that I am serious about getting things done.  Supervisors learn that they can give me a job to do, leave me alone, and it will get done.  If I need their help, I will ask for it.  Otherwise, they can assume all is well.  I will squeal if and when I reach my reasonable limit, but until then, they can rightly know that I’m on top of my duties.

Put in more time than is required.  While the previous suggestion centers around taking on more responsibility, this one is about putting in extra time.  I don’t remember how many years it has been since I’ve averaged only 40 hours per week.  I tend to average in the low 50s instead of the 40s.  Occasionally, I go well beyond that, but I don’t recommend doing so except for rare occasions when there simply is no other alternative, and only then for a very short period of time.  It isn’t nice when employers expect extra hours every week from salaried employees, but it is good to be in a situation where you love what you do and willingly give it more time in order to do the best job possible in a reasonable, sustainable amount of time.  Not everyone is in a life situation that allows them to give extra hours with no corresponding increase in compensation, but for someone like me whose sons are long gone from home, I have that luxury and am glad to do so.

Ask for what you want.  You may not get all you want, but you certainly won’t get what you wish for if you don’t ask for it.  There have been two times in the past four years alone when roles were created for me on other teams that would not have been created without me initiating the conversations.  In 2009 I called the manager of a different team out of the blue and pitched an idea about the possibility of a new role being created on his team with me filling it.  It took a few months to go through all the internal hoops for it to happen, but since the manager liked the idea, he worked with others as needed over several months to make it come to pass.  Something similar happened in 2011 when I thought it was necessary for our internal social network to be owned by a different business area, and for me to go along with it to that area to manage it.  Again, after a few months and several discussions with key stakeholders working together, it came to fruition.  Dream Big.  Show the potential benefits of your ideas, and go for them.

Be kind to others.  This seems rather basic, but you’d be surprised how often people don’t follow this simple principle.  Being rude, self-centered, sharp-tongued, avoiding others, being unresponsive to requests, not returning calls or emails, and generally being a pain in the behind to others just makes you the kind of person coworkers have no desire to be around.  Why would anyone want to be that person?  Most of us spend more waking hours with our work colleagues than with those who live under own own roof at home.  Why wouldn’t you want to have the best relationships possible since you’re going to be spending a huge amount of time together weekly?  I want to be thought of as someone who generously gives to others, is OK with occasional interruptions in order to help people out, speaks kindly, encourages others, and who does a reasonably good job of living the Golden Rule, treating others the way I want them to treat me.  We teach it to our kids.  Why should we be any different as adults?

Trust others.  I tend to trust others until they give me a reason not to trust.  This approach seems to be better for relationships, easier on the mind and emotions, and benefits everyone involved since trust is usually rewarded with trust returned in your direction.  I understand that there are certain roles in businesses which lend themselves to being very cautious, skeptical and perhaps lacking in trust.  People in such roles need to do what their positions require without coming off as always distrustful of others.  I know I am a person of integrity, so when someone questions that integrity in any way, it is highly offensive.  Likewise, I don’t want to appear to question someone else’s integrity unjustifiably.  Of course, if you ever give me a reason not to trust you, I will continue to cooperate and work with you as needed, but I will be extremely cautious and you will have to earn that trust back over a long period of time which is outside of your control.

Help others reach their goals.  This involves being an encourager to people, taking time to genuinely listen to them, and then taking action to the extent that it is within your ability to assist.  Even though I am not currently in a management role, it is very possible for me to help others achieve their goals by providing assistance within the scope of my responsibilities and authority.  You do not have to have positional authority to have an effective impact on the organization and individuals within it.  Individuals can have significant influence without having a single person formally reporting to them.  For those who are in supervisory positions, I consider this one of their primary responsibilities–one characterized by developing others, being a cheerleader, inspiring, encouraging, empowering, guiding, leading, and genuinely celebrating others’ success as they accomplish challenging business objectives and personal career goals.

Looking at the above patterns of behavior that I believe characterize the bulk of my work history, I would summarize them in two simple thoughts: (1) strive to do your very best, and (2) focus on others as much (or more) than you focus on yourself.

So there you have it–my worst mistakes discussed in a previous post, and several positive and helpful patterns of behavior that have contributed significantly to success and satisfaction in my work.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about work experiences and patterns that have shaped your career.

2013 Goals Update – February 2

Posted: February 2, 2013 in Goals
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Progress ReportIt’s hard to believe that a full month of 2013 has already passed.  That means it is time to share with you how I’m doing on the goals I set at the beginning of the year.  In a post on January 1, I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit.  It helps hold me accountable to update publicly how I’m doing, so here goes…

Goals related to body:

1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds.  So far, so good on this one.  I continue to weigh in each morning, and if I’m at the max of 150 I know I have to be very careful that day, eating a little less or being more active or both.  If I’m a couple of pounds below my goal, I allow myself a little splurge.

2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week.  I’m a little ahead of schedule on this one.

3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night.  I don’t keep a record of this, and I know I’ve had a few stretches of too little sleep, but I also know I’ve gone to bed earlier than what was previously normal many nights and have had more evening naps than in the past.  I may not be at six hours on the average, but I don’t think I’m far from it including the naps in my cozy recliner.

Goals related to mind:

1. Read a book every other week.  I’m a little behind on this one since I’m in the middle of my second book.  I have to pick up the pace on this one to get back on schedule.  I should finish book #2 this weekend which will put me back on track.

2. Blog every other day (at least).  I’m only one post behind this schedule, so that will be easy to make up.  Having blogged all 366 days of 2012, it feels like I’m hardly ever blogging by dropping last year’s frequency in half, but I’ll stay with this goal for 2013.

3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect.  It’s easy to miss some days on this goal because of not blogging every day and, therefore, not ending with that intentional time of reflection that accompanied last year’s daily lessons learned posts.  Still, the regular task of deciding what to blog about brings this goal to mind frequently.

4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000.  I’m pleased to say that I am well ahead of schedule on this goal.  Through January, the average number of daily visits to this blog is up 179% from last year’s daily average.  January’s 2,403 visits more than doubled by previous best month ever, and January 25 saw the greatest number of hits in a single day ever.  The biggest difference is that I’ve done more promotion of particular posts on our internal social network where I work, and that has helped increase readership.  Onward and upward!

5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons.  This is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be several months before I do this again.

Goals related to spirit:

1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible.  This is on schedule.  I read a little more daily than required in January to get a good jump start on the year, so I’ve backed off the daily quantity a bit now, but am still at a pace to reach the goal.

2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly.  This is not a time-consuming goal (less than an hour a week), so it is fairly easy to stay on track with this one.  So far, so good.

3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship.  I won’t share details, but this matter is thankfully resolved and the goal can be marked as complete.

To be honest, there were some times during January when I wish I hadn’t set as many goals – times when I would have preferred to just rest and relax and do something for the fun of it in the evening or on the weekend.  That was going on when I wrote “When does busy become too busy?”  For the second weekend in a row, however, I will be able to rest a reasonable amount and have a relaxing schedule, so I’ll keep plugging away at all of the goals above.  It helped that I took a few days of vacation in early January, and I will do so again one week per month for at least the next several months, staying home and resting a little while focusing on my goals the remainder of the days off.

As a side note, would you like to know the secret to me keeping up on my goals daily?  I keep a tiny little Post-It note with a checklist on the stand beside my recliner so that it’s near me nightly.  How is that for high tech and for this guy who is constantly online and connected to technology?  Hey, it works.

Overall, then, it looks like I made it through January very close to the goals – either right on target or slightly ahead or behind, depending on the goal.  February, here we go!

How are you doing on your goals for the year?

Top Ten Posts for 2012

Posted: January 3, 2013 in Blogging
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Top 10 ListBelow are the most viewed posts on this blog during 2012.  If you missed one of them or have long since forgotten what it was about, check it out.  Most are quick lessons learned of 366 words or less (the exceptions being #2 and #9 – both posts from 2011 that still were among the most viewed in 2012).

1. Be There: Giving full attention to the people you are with and not being distracted by technology or anything else.

2. Trust: The importance of trust between people, and implications if trust is broken, especially in relationships at work.

3. Sometimes All It Takes Is 20 Seconds: Inspired by the movie We Bought a Zoo, thoughts about how 20 seconds of insane courage can change your life.

4. Companies Need Customer Service Like Granny Provides: Based on my regular experiences with a sweet, old lady when I donate blood at the Red Cross, this is what customer service should be like.

5. You Need Someone At Work To Relate To: Being the only person at your business doing your type of work can be very lonely.  Having one other person to relate to can help tremendously.

6. Kisses Are Priceless: From Valentine’s Day, 2012, read about two unexpected kisses, how they made my day and why kisses are priceless.

7. Exhaustion Can Hurt So Good: After an extreme Muddy Fanatic race with good friends, the mind and spirit can be so satisfied even if the body is spent.

8. Don’t Pre-Judge: Whether dealing with people or animals, you can easily make wrong assumptions and treat others differently if you pre-judge them.

9. More Questions Than Answers: Still-unanswered questions from 2011 regarding social learning and the use of social media in learning.

10. Evil Is Real, and So Is the Cure: Reflections following the tragic elementary school shootings in Newtown, Connecticut from my Christian worldview.

Thanks to all the readers who made these the most read.  I look forward to seeing what interests you this year.

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