Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Last month I wrote a blog post about my decision to walk away from Facebook and Twitter for a month. Now that the month of self-imposed exile is behind me, it’s time to reflect on the experience.

Not surprisingly, there is both good and bad that comes with ignoring channels of communication where one is accustomed to being very active. I still had 24 hours in my days, but now about two or more of those hours would not be spent in social media outside of work as had been my habit previously. So what changed?

There were definitely some things I missed – things I found myself instinctively reaching for my phone to pursue before remembering they were off limits. (It helped that I deleted the icons for the apps from my phone for the month.) Some of those moments were deer-in-the-headlights times when I thought, “Now what do I do? This is a time where I know I’d normally be on my phone.”

Specifically, the things I missed while away include:

  • Seeing photos of family and friends on Facebook;
  • Keeping current with important events in the lives of friends, extended family, and acquaintances I’m only connected with on Facebook or Twitter;
  • The doses of humor I get regularly from my funnier friends;
  • Dog photos;
  • Assisting with the Facebook and Twitter efforts of my church on Sunday mornings during our worship.

However, the things I enjoyed more while away is longer:

  • I read more. The 1.5 books I read during the time isn’t a lot, but it’s about 1 more than I usually read in a month.
  • I slept more. My body keeps telling me to do more of this. Not wasting an hour sitting in bed watching Facebook videos before going to sleep helped.
  • I felt freer to take more and longer walks with my dog, Callie. Add to that the now mandatory working from home due to the coronavirus and Callie worships me now more than ever if that’s possible.
  • I had to get over the temptation to narrate my life online and just live it instead. Living it is better.
  • I enjoyed wonderful meals without feeling the need to take a photo and post it somewhere. I just savored the food and the moment.
  • I had more time to do needed volunteer work in my role as Sunday School Director for my church where we are in the midst of some significant changes.
  • I enjoyed seeing far fewer political rants that just get my blood boiling and change nobody’s opinion.
  • I spent a little more time initially on LinkedIn browsing content related to my profession, but I eventually set a 10-minute daily limit on that through my phone’s app timer. I didn’t just want the month to be substituting one form of social media for another.
  • I more frequently browsed NextDoor.com as well to see what was going on in my neighborhood, but also set that to a limit of 10 minutes per day.
  • I took the time to more thoroughly explore Reddit for the first time. I can’t believe that hasn’t been in my regular repertoire of social media sites, but it hasn’t. I found it just as addictive as the others and deleted the app from my phone within 24 hours of first checking it out. I haven’t been back.
  • I fed my election year political hunger through regular visits to RealClearPolitics.com, but gave it the same 10 minute limit daily.

It would be nice to say that I did far more meaningful, transformational, important things with those 2-3 hours of time daily previously given to Facebook and Twitter, but this was an experiment to see what I would do – not a planned effort to do any predetermined list of replacements.

So what are the main takeaways for me from this experience?

  1. I’d rate my life as generally better for the month without Facebook and Twitter than how things were previously.
  2. If it was better without them, it would be silly to return to the earlier practice after the experiment.
  3. If I return to some degree to social media, it would be foolish to contribute to that which I was glad to get away from (such as politics), and wise to do more of what I missed (humor).
  4. Since there is some good in social media, I’ll return to it but in a time-limited capacity. For now, I’m going to use my phone’s app timer to limit each social media platform to 10 minutes a day outside of work or church-related service. That’s still more time in total than I should give to it if I max out all channels any given day. However, I usually didn’t hit the timer limit on many, if any, apps during the past month, so I don’t expect to do so going forward, either. You don’t have to choose either total addiction or total abstinence when it comes to social media. You can find a healthy balance and be disciplined in how you approach it.
  5. I encourage everyone who is on a computer or phone outside of work for an hour or more a day to seriously consider such a time away as I had this past month. So many people are addicted to their phones or other devices. You keep your head in it at home, at work, on the go, and in gatherings where life can be better and more meaningful if you are present in the real world and not in social media land. Try it! It will reveal some things to you about yourself and what you’re missing. If you’re like me, the detox will be time well spent, and social media has been my profession and personal passion for the past decade! I promise you’ll survive without it.

Life is a journey. We come to crossroads and we choose a path. At this point in my journey, it seems right to dial back to a reasonable daily limit how much non-work time I give to social media. There is too much else that is more important to do – including relaxing and doing nothing at times.

Peace.

Social media has been my profession since 2010. I manage a large, 70,000-person internal community for a company that’s #56 on the Fortune 500 list. I served many years on its social media team and now perform those same functions from its Corporate Communications team. Through the years, I’ve had responsibilities that include the company’s Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, Google+ and LinkedIn accounts as well as some external customer-facing communities and our employee advocacy program. I love my work and the company that allows me to have this much fun while working with amazing people and getting paid for it.

Personally, social media has been a huge part of my life as well for even longer. I’ve had an active role in my church’s social media for a number of years. Like many of you, I check my personal Facebook and Twitter accounts multiple times daily in addition to other online communities that are important to me. I’ve been in a pattern for many months where my main way of winding down at night before going to bed is to enjoy a number of Facebook videos that make me laugh or smile. It isn’t uncommon for me to spend at least a couple hours a day outside of my work duties browsing personal social media – mostly Facebook with a little Twitter and LinkedIn thrown in.

It is no small decision for me, then, to take a break from Facebook (and Twitter) for the next month beginning today – February 17, 2020 – and going until at least March 17. Why am I doing this?

Not in reaction to any particular stimulus.

Not as a protest against anyone or anything.

Not because I’m angry (I’m not).

Not to try to convince anyone else to do the same.

So why? Because I want to see what my life can be like if I reclaim that 2+ hours a day spent voluntarily online and invest that time elsewhere. I need to read more. I need to sleep more. I need to volunteer more. I need to do more around the house. I need more real-life, face-to-face time than Internet-based interactions with people.

I’ve thought about taking a short break from social media for years, but have never made the decision to do so because I enjoy it so much. It’s fun. It’s my profession. I connect with so many other wonderful people (and a few jerks) online. But I don’t like what I sense is a huge negative impact on time and meaningful relationships because of so much time with my head staring at a screen when it doesn’t have to be. So I’m putting that part of me on pause for a month.

I make no promises of what will happen after the month is up. Maybe I’ll go back to exactly the way things were. Perhaps I’ll learn some things in the next 30 days that cause me to make some permanent changes. We’ll find out together.

After this blog post is published and shared on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, I’ll be signing off Facebook and Twitter until March 17. I’ll still check LinkedIn with my usual once-every-few-days frequency for a few minutes since that’s mostly professional. I’ll visit the professional community of my peers around the globe hosted by The Community Roundtable. But I will try to get my head out of the Internet personal cloud and back on earth where I suspect it is better off.

If you need me in the coming weeks, call or text me if you know my number. If you don’t have that, my personal email is jeffkross@yahoo.com.

Peace. Enjoy the next month.

friendsMy Facebook profile says that I have 353 friends. My LinkedIn profile claims 614 connections. I think we all know the number of true friends among those is barely double digits. I am thankful for many great relationships with colleagues past and present, with so many people from my years growing up in Winchester, Kentucky that I’m still in contact with, and with those other friends from churches and elsewhere gained along the way that are truly special people in my life.

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. With acquaintances, you may go long periods of time without contact and be just fine with that. In fact, cold as it sounds, you can take or leave most acquaintances. You’re cordial when together and perhaps enjoy the company, but they really aren’t an ongoing part of your life, so if circumstances change and you never meet or cross paths again, it doesn’t really matter.

Friends, of course, are different. You think about friends and anticipate the next time you’ll be together. Friends build on histories together and have key events that get remembered, shared repeatedly, and woven into the fabric of their combined life story. Friends enjoy being together whether there is a lot of talk and chatter or whether there is mostly quiet. With friends, a good time isn’t defined by what happens as much as it is by who is present. Friends expect you to be yourself even with your oddities and shortcomings. Friends forgive you; they don’t hold grudges. Friends come to your aid of their own accord when you’re down or down on your luck. They give without any expectation of return. They comfort you, challenge you, defend you, encourage you. Friends make you laugh at life and at yourself. The thought of a good friend brings a smile to your face.

I count myself fortunate to have friends that go back to high school days. I may not see them in person very often, but Facebook has been an avenue of keeping those relationships alive. I’m thankful for friends I’ve had since college – relationships formed in that critical period of life that have withstood the test of time. I’m thankful for dear friends I’ve gained through churches where I’ve served on the ministerial staff or been a member. I’m thankful for the added bonus of some work relationships turning into friendships that outlive working together at a company. I’m thankful for those special, closest friends where conversations just seem to pick up wherever we left off regardless of how much time has separated our being together.

We don’t need a lot of friends in our lives, but we do need some. I am thankful for all the special people in my life that I call friend.

Thank you, God, for my friends.

Jason and TreeAsk me what the ROI of social media is for me personally, and I’ll tell you that it was $10,000 for me this week.  Why?  Because of what happened related to the 150-year-old, 14.5 foot circumference tree in our back yard, shown here with my son, Jason, giving it one last hug before we have to cut it down in a few days.  Actually, it was my friends via social media that saved me the money – not social media itself which was the vehicle of communication that made it all possible.

Here’s what happened…

We had a storm come through several nights ago that took out a major section of the tree, fortunately falling away from the house and only doing minor damage to the garage and garden.  Upon inspection by the arborist, though, it was discovered that the tree is not in good health.  With the major limb gone, you could step down into the center of the tree nearly waist high.  The squirrels had been living in style up there for some while, lining their tree house with plastic and even a t-shirt they stole from someone, but we had no idea about the extent of the interior damage until the gaping hole of a missing 25-inch-diameter limb revealed it.  We hoped to never see the day when we had to remove such a natural masterpiece, but there was no avoiding it upon inspection.

We’ve used the same outstanding, trustworthy, yet expensive arborist for the 25 years we’ve lived in this house.  Taking care of the tree with regular grooming and care was something we willingly did for the past quarter century – a mere one-sixth of the tree’s time on this earth.  (I guess that puts its origins somewhere around the presidency of Abraham Lincoln.)  We got an unofficial ballpark estimate from our usual arborist on removing the tree when he was here removing the downed limb.  I was quite stunned at the approximate $6000 price tag to remove the whole tree!  I wasn’t prepared for that.

I didn’t mind paying top dollar for proper care of a tree to extend its life, but I wasn’t about to hand over $6000 to cut one down without competitive bids.  The problem?  I have no firsthand knowledge of any other company in town and could easily make a very bad decision we might regret.

Enter social media.

Tree LimbI posted a pic of the downed limb on Facebook and a note about having to remove the tree along with the current bid we had.  I didn’t ask others for referrals.  In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit that it didn’t even occur to me at that point to do so.  Yet, my network of friends took over and started posting publicly, privately and sending me text messages of companies they had successfully used and highly recommended.  My wife, Linda, did some Better Business Bureau research on all the names and narrowed it to three possible, reputable companies.

Here comes the unbelievable part.  The bids on removing the monster tree ranged form a low of $3200 to a high of nearly $12,000!  That’s a crazy disparity.  Want to know the funny part?  The highest bidder was also going to take down part of our backyard fence to get his equipment there and was not going to put the fence back up!  Thanks, but no thanks.

We actually got two bids from each company – one just for the backyard tree and one that also included a very large 70-year-old oak in our front yard that has been falling apart little by little annually and isn’t safe, either.  The bids for taking down both trees ranged from $6000 to $16,000 – a stunning difference.

We ended up going with the lowest bidder.  Could something go wrong?  Sure.  Could we end up regretting our decision?  Possibly, but not likely.  We’re confident we made the right choice and it wasn’t made solely on price.  I’ll let you know if we learn otherwise.

Without social media, I may never have known about the company we’re using.  I may have asked a few close friends for recommendations, but no network of hundreds of people would’ve known about my need without social media.  And the best thing about it was that I didn’t even ask for help.  I just posted the situation and the info started pouring in.

This is the reality of how social media works today.  People do not simply go to the companies selling products and services and make an isolated decision based only on info provided by those doing the selling.  We have public conversations in our personal networks and those conversations influence our buying decisions.  Companies that understand that will choose to be a part of the conversations, helping to influence them and earning the right to be chosen.  Companies who don’t get it will continue to mistakenly think that their marketing message is the one the people listen to the most.  It isn’t.  We care more about the opinion and recommendations of our friends than we do about what we hear from businesses.

What is the ROI of social media?  For me personally this week, it’s $10,000.  Who knows what next week will bring?

With the growth of Facebook to over 800 million users and showing no sign of going away anytime soon, we have a new element in our relationships that simply didn’t exist too many years ago.  We have the ability to easily stay in touch – even to the finest level of detail – with whomever we wish.  We can choose to maintain relationships from years past where geography and circumstances would previously have ended regular contact.  We can, in a sense, live with many others every day to stay in touch and to at least be up to date on those aspects of their lives they choose to make public.

I think that’s a good thing.  Case in point – this week spending time with some family members and friends who I do not get to see in person very often.  Because of our connections on Facebook, when we got together we could pick up the conversation from a broader knowledge base than if we did not have that connection.  We didn’t have to say “Where are you working?” or “What have you been up to lately?” or “How is the family?” or a host of other catch-up types of questions.  We already knew the answers to those things because of staying in touch via Facebook.  We could move more quickly to other matters.

I’ve had several friends and acquaintances over the past year who chose to take breaks from Facebook because they felt like it was in some way harmful to them or their relationships.  Some gave it up for Lent.  Some have closed their accounts completely.  That is their prerogative and they have to do what they think is best in their situation for their relationships.

But I am grateful to be connected regularly with friends from high school, with family and with people I see in person every week.  Should I be online so much that I ignore my wife or anyone I may be physically present with?  No.  To do so is as rude as always spending time on your cell phone when you’re with others.  Used responsibly, it expands and deepens relationships.

Leap year lesson #130 is Facebook can deepen relationships.