Posts Tagged ‘Trust’

Don't WorryWhat is your reaction when people tell you not to worry about something? Maybe you feel like saying, “That’s easy for you to say, but I can’t help worrying about it!”

All of us worry about things from time to time – some of us more than others. Some seem to not be “happy” unless they are worrying and stressing over a myriad of issues, most of which never come to pass.

That’s why a study note related to 1 Peter 5:7 from the ESV Study Bible jumped out at me recently. The full sentence of the biblical text includes verses 6-7: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” The study notes for verse 7 then include the following statement: “Worry is a form of pride because it involves taking concerns upon oneself instead of entrusting them to God. Believers can trust God because, as their Father, he cares for them.” I had to stop and chew on the thought that worry is a form of pride. I had never considered that before.

The words from the Apostle Peter coincide well with the words of Jesus in Luke 12:22-31:

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried (emphasis mine). For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. (ESV)

Jesus does not command us to do that which is impossible. In the above passage, he clearly tells his children not to worry, but to trust our heavenly Father for what we need (not necessarily what we want). In light of this command, and in light of considering worry as evidence of pride that we are trying to handle what is rightly God’s to deal with, we can’t get away with excusing worry by saying “I can’t help worrying about it.” We can help it, because we can place those anxieties on the shoulders of the One who is far more capable of bearing them than we are. In a sense, we need to just stop it.

And because it wouldn’t be right to have a post called “Don’t Worry” without this, here is a video of Bobby McFerrin singing Don’t Worry, Be Happy. I’m not sure how theologically sound it is, but it’s closer to Jesus’ teaching than pridefully worrying about things he said not to worry about.

Don’t worry.

Worst BossIn yesterday’s post, I shared the characteristics and practices of The Best Bosses I’ve Ever Had.  Today I will reluctantly spend time reflecting on the worst ones of the bunch and what made them so.  Of course, I won’t name names or give enough background to identify with certainty who I’m talking about.  After 40 years of working, I’ve had many bosses across numerous roles at several companies and organizations.  Heck, I’ve had ten bosses in ten years with my current employer even though I’ve only been in three roles and departments.  Such is corporate life.  I lost count long ago on how many I’ve had over time.  So for those that know me, don’t miss the point of the article by trying to figure out who the “inspiration” for each item below may have been.

It can be assumed that the flip side of the characteristics of my best bosses would make the list of my worst bosses, but I won’t be that easy on myself in writing this.  Some of the items below are the opposites of the “Best Bosses” behaviors, but not all.  I have a different set of people in mind for these points and their characteristics drive the items below.  So let’s get to it.

The worst bosses I’ve ever had:

Are self-centered.  I don’t tolerate very well having to be around those who think predominantly of themselves.  Give me a leader who understands and lives the values of servant leadership any day, but not one who seems to drift along in his/her own little world of “what’s in it for me?” or “look at me!”

Constantly create or respond to one fire drill after another.  This may show itself in unreasonable, last-minute demands of dropping everything and doing something entirely different “by the end of the day.”  It may come as an emergency handed-down by my boss’s boss or someone else higher up, but that is no excuse for perpetuating the issue of allowing last-minute, random questions and events to determine what work gets done.  Management that follows this pattern shows no sign of having, understanding, or following a cohesive strategy for accomplishing the business’s objectives.  Life in such a business is one big ongoing game of Whack-a-Mole.

Distrust their own people.  Why would you hire someone you distrust?  Why would you distrust someone you trusted enough to hire?  Why would you continue to employ someone you distrust?  It all makes no sense to me.  This may be displayed by managers who refuse to delegate responsibilities and corresponding authority to their people to carry out needed tasks.  It may be evidenced by physical signs of keeping employees away from anything of value.  It may come via typical surveillance methods or asking others to spy on anyone suspected of wrongdoing.  It may show in overzealous methods of required documentation or using technology to monitor nearly every minute or keystroke of an employee’s time on the clock.  It may be evidenced by blocking common websites such as social media sites or shopping destinations.  People who distrust never cease to amaze me at the creative ways they devise to try to justify their fears.

Refuse to address personnel issues.  This is maddening and kills the morale of the remainder of the team.  Deal with issues fast, managers, or you may need to be dealt with next – either that or you’ll find yourself losing your good people because of your inability to solve the issues arising from your problem employees.  And please don’t place the burden of dealing with problem employees on their peers.  That isn’t what they are hired, paid or trained to do.

Disrespect their people.  This might be shown in a number of ways, from public condemnation and criticism to unreasonable time demands that encroach on their people’s personal lives, to speaking poorly of their people to others outside their department, to being offensive in word and deed through inappropriate language or physical behavior, or other ways imagined only by minds that I cannot understand.  I could try to play psychologist here and claim that such behavior is a sign of low self-esteem – demeaning others to help one feel better about himself – but I’ll leave that analysis to others more qualified.  Regardless of the reason behind the behavior, it’s wrong.

Fail to lead.  This can happen when someone is unqualified and ill-equipped for the role, unsure of what to do himself, and therefore unable to guide others.  It can come from the wishful thinking that laissez-faire, hands-off leadership will magically bring out the best in others.  It may come from those trying too hard to be friends with their subordinates.  It may come from a boss who is already disengaged himself or who is in disagreement with those above him/her in the org chart.  Businesses need people who know how to lead and who are not afraid to do so using sound principles of leadership – not dehumanizing, authoritarian abuses of power.

Must have everything their way.  Bosses must make the final call on some decisions, but to think that all or nearly all things must be done the manager’s way is surely the wrong approach.  It discounts the knowledge, talents, ideas and innovations engaged employees can bring to the table.  It stifles motivation and devalues the employees.

Micromanage.  Maybe some people need to be micromanaged, but I’m not one of them.  Anyone who tries to do this to me is just annoying.  I doubt I’m different than most employees in this regard.  That said, I concede that short periods of keeping a closer-than-normal eye on an employee may be in order when poor performance is documented and greater accountability is in order.  Still, it seems to me that if a boss spends all of his time peering over the shoulders of others to make sure they’re doing things a certain way, then that boss may not be necessary to the business.

Try to keep employees from advancing.  One of the potential downfalls of doing one’s job really well is that it can sometimes result in employers keeping you in that role even when you want to grow, learn, and experience other roles, be they lateral or vertical changes.  A boss who is concerned with the professional development of employees will go out of his way to encourage such growth and experiences.  Think of it, bosses, as your opportunity to make a positive impact on the lives, careers, and even the families of many people over time – a far greater contribution to the world in the long run that pigeonholing people into roles they are ready to leave.  If you try to “keep them in their place” too long, they may just leave the company for greener pastures, and then you’ve just blown it for the company permanently.

Are rarely available to their employees.  Too many companies end up filling the daily calendar of bosses with back-to-back meetings all day every day.  Not only does this likely keep the boss from doing much that’s actually productive, but it keeps him/her from being available to the very people most likely to want and need his/her presence periodically throughout the day.  Temporarily removing oneself from the area or occasionally closing an office door to focus on a task is understandable and reasonable, but rarely being around or always being behind an uninviting closed door creates an unhealthy barrier between bosses and their people.

Discourage employee engagement.  What I’m thinking of here is when a boss thinks that only he/she can do some things, failing to delegate in the best interests of the business.  The idea that only people at a certain level should make decisions or do certain things creates an “us vs. them” mentality rather than a team approach.  I’ve witnessed this in businesses and volunteer organizations where, oddly, volunteer engagement is discouraged in favor of staff-only decision making and execution.

Withhold vital information from employees.  There are times when company leadership determines that certain information about the business must remain hidden until some specified time at which it is unveiled.  That’s understandable, especially for a publicly-traded business that must follow strict laws.  However, there are times when bosses at their own discretion choose to hide from employees information that the employees may deem very important to their work or career decisions.  Consideration for the employees should take precedence in such situations.

Make you dread going to work.  When your thoughts during your morning shower start the day by dreading going in to work, imagining the potential conflict or irritants awaiting, you know you’ve reached a point where either a major change in the relationship needs to happen, or it’s time to move to a different position.  On the contrary, working for a great boss makes it a pleasure to be there today and for the foreseeable future.  If your non-work time is starting to be filled with negative thoughts, hindering your personal life as well, it’s time for change.

Overall, I have been fortunate with more jobs than not in the kinds of bosses I’ve had for the past 40 years.  There have been scenarios, however, where I have painfully been reminded by experience of the common maxim that people go to a new job because of the work, but they leave a job because of the management.  That is true all too often.  Sadly, the very managers most guilty of the negative behaviors and characteristics mentioned above are also the most clueless about their behavior, its negative impact on people and, ultimately, the impact on the businesses they are employed to serve.

For bosses reading this, I encourage you to look over these traits and the ones listed in yesterday’s post about my best bosses.  Do an honest self-evaluation.  Give yourself kudos for the positive qualities you think you regularly demonstrate.  Make note of the negative ones where you should improve.  If you’re really brave, initiate some 360-degree feedback from subordinates, peers and supervisors for a more complete analysis.  Then pick one or two areas for improvement and make a plan to improve.  Grab an accountability partner to help you in the cause.  Don’t focus only on your weaknesses; that’s unnecessary and depressing.  Acknowledge and celebrate your strengths.  Do this kind of evaluation at least annually and, if you’re in a better place a year from now, you’re doing well.  Keep it up.

For employees reading this, especially if you see more negative than positive qualities in your current boss, you have some decisions to make.  Do you stick it out with a poor boss in order to keep doing work you love, to keep working with great coworkers, or to maintain other benefits of the role?  Do you risk addressing the most important issues with the boss, unsure of what his/her reaction may be?  Do you chance the nuclear option of attempting to go over the boss’s head to his/her supervisor with your concerns?  (Be very careful about doing that.)  You have to make those calls yourself.  I default to the approach of privately addressing the issue with the boss as the most direct and proper method, even if it does have potential negative consequences.

Maybe you have other characteristics you’ve experienced in your worst bosses.  If you have some to add to my list above, feel free to do so in a comment.  I’d love to hear about them.

Here’s hoping for a brighter future with great bosses!

Annoying CoworkersLast week I wrote a post about what I appreciate most in coworkers.  Thanks to all who made it one of my most read posts for the year to date.  This post addresses the flip side of the issue by discussing those things that really get under my skin about coworkers.  Of course, I’m writing a summary post from 40 years or working and am not airing a bunch of dirty laundry regarding my current team – a team I am incredibly impressed with and glad to be part of.

Here are the things that most annoy me in no particular order of importance:

1. Negativity.  As someone who prefers optimism over pessimism, I find it draining and depressing to be around Negative Nellies all the time.  Whether this is in the form of constantly complaining about one’s work environment, other people, personal matters at home, management, work to be done, one’s health, opinions concerning project plans, or a host of other possibilities, please don’t pollute the office and the daily experience of those around you by bringing more negativity than positivity to the office.  If you’re that miserable at work, then find something else somewhere else.  If you’re like this wherever you work, then the problem is you – not others or the work environment.

2. Excessive absenteeism.  I realize people take vacations, get sick and have family emergencies that take them away from work from time to time.  Heck, I’m writing this in the middle of such a few days myself helping to take care of my wife after an accident Sunday and in anticipation of her having surgery tomorrow.  But I have worked with some people who have more weeks per year with days away than weeks with all five days in the office.  With these folks, there always seems to be some crisis du jour that causes them to come in late, leave early, take another day off, etc.  It leaves me wondering just how many days a year these people take off and how that all reconciles with limits the company places on paid time off.  Is anyone holding them accountable?

3. Not delivering results.  I don’t care how many lofty plans you think up or what good intentions you announced at the last staff meeting.  I want to see work completed and done so in a timely manner.  I could line my cube wall with the empty promises of what others said they would do and never got around to finishing.  I’d rather line the walls with lists of amazing things accomplished by the team.

4. Managers who don’t hold people accountable.  This relates to the previous one, but focuses on the manager rather than the coworker.  I have been on teams where  managers inconceivably let slide month after month and year after year the lack of deliverables from some people on the team while others consistently churn out work at an incredible pace.  Is it because the manager doesn’t see it?  Does he not care?  Is he clueless about how to hold people accountable for performance results?  Doesn’t he realize what this disparity in apparent expectations does to the morale and potential performance of the rest of the team, not to mention the toll it takes on interpersonal dynamics?  It may be easy to convince oneself that letting people self-manage and requiring team members to hold each other accountable is the emotionally mature way to go, but doing so sure smells a lot like abdicating one’s management responsibilities when individual performance issues never get addressed.

5. Backstabbing.  I prefer to trust people until they give me a reason not to.  One way to quickly and permanently lose that trust is to stab me (or others I trust) in the back.  If you think doing so makes you look good, you’re wrong.  If you’re doing it to climb up the corporate ladder via the bleeding backs of others, then you will ultimately fail.  If you have something to say about the work I do, how I do it, or about any quality or capability I bring to the table, then do so to my face.  If you would hesitate to say it to me, then that ought to be a clue that you shouldn’t say it to others either.  Word gets around sooner or later, and a pattern of backstabbing others will get you a reputation that does you far more harm than good.  Build others up; don’t tear them down.

6. Jumping to conclusions.  I have to chuckle at times at the swift speed at which we go from very limited information to unfounded and inaccurate conclusions.  Learn to ask more questions and find out more facts about a situation before you take off on some rant or devise some unnecessary solution for a misdiagnosed problem.  I see this on our company’s internal social network all the time when someone will have one little piece of info or limited experience and then take off on some speculative discussion path rather than take the time to first inquire and understand the whole picture.

7. Failing to involve others in decision making.  It is the style of some “leaders” to think they need to make decisions in a vacuum or only with the involvement of very few people impacted, and then announce that major decision to others impacted by it.  That is a mistake.  With today’s ease of communication in organizations via internal social media, and especially if all impacted are easily gathered together for discussion prior to decisions, we are far better off tapping the collective wisdom of the entire stakeholder community before decisions are made.  This results in a far greater likelihood that the best decisions will be made and that broad buy-in from the ranks will be there from the start.  Leaders who get this right will find an appreciative workforce who provides valuable feedback, feels like they are partners in the enterprise, and who are strong advocates of final decisions made.  Leaders who continue to make major decisions behind locked doors, making some big announcement after everything is set in stone, only foster distrust about what will be handed down next.

8. Policy and process guardians with no common sense.  People who want to respond to every bad thing that ever happens with another policy or unbending process written in stone need to lighten up.  You can’t have an agile, creative, innovative, effective workplace that responds to today’s business needs and climate realities if every attempt to get work done is stifled or significantly delayed by people enforcing extremely conservative policies and complex processes that may be even prohibit the very actions they are presumably established to guide.  The business does not exist to enforce its policies and processes.  The policies and processes exist to help the business accomplish its objectives, and when they impede that progress, they need to be called out and changed by those empowered to do so.  That seems like common sense to me, but as I’ve heard others say, “If common sense was common, more people would have it.”

9. Making it hard for others to reach you.  This comes in a few different forms.  For example, when I read an email, I expect a signature block to contain basic contact info, even if you are from within my own company, but especially if you are from another company.  Unless you’re sitting within earshot of me, include your phone and any other relevant contact info in your signature block.  I don’t want to waste time having to look you up in the company directory or in previous emails or notes every time we need to talk.  If the company provides an instant messaging platform, then set up your PC to log in to it automatically every day for those quick exchanges that don’t warrant an email or phone call.  If you’re out of the office for a time, update your voice mail and email to note that so I don’t think you’re just ignoring me and so I can direct my questions to others while you are away.  If your area is responsible for some process that others must go through, then make clear on your website or somewhere who to actually contact if there is a need to talk to a real, live person instead of some generic email address.  Go out of your way to make it easy for others to reach you.

10.  Passing the buck.  How many times have you been sent from one person or department to another when trying to track down information or assistance with some matter?  I understand that not everyone is responsible for everything, especially in a large company.  Certain business areas own certain processes and aspects of the business and need to take pride in that ownership, making the areas for which they have responsibility run as smoothly as possible.  That means owning up to failures without pointing fingers to others who may have influenced failure in some way.  The kind of person who most impresses me in this regard is the one who will take ownership and initiative in finding answers, information and solutions even though it most certainly is not their actual job responsibility to do so.  That kind of customer and problem-solving focus is greatly appreciated by anyone who has ever experienced the exasperation of a string of people unwilling to take responsibility or to help.

So there you have the ten things that most annoy me about coworkers – a list compiled from reflecting on many years of work across many teams and under many different managers.

What about you?  What annoys you the most about coworkers?

As promised in yesterday’s post about “The Worst Mistakes I’ve Made As An Employee,” I’d like to share with you a few of the key things I think I’ve done well through the years where I’ve worked.  These are the decisions or patterns of behavior that I hope have characterized my time as an employee, from the time I got my first job as a 16-year-old small town grocery store clerk making $1.60 an hour to my current role as an online community manager for a Fortune 100 company.  I can’t help but think that people who exhibit these behaviors will have good success and satisfaction in their careers as well.

Here goes…

Take on more responsibility than is required.  I take no pleasure in doing only what is expected of me in a role.  I want to do my best at my work, and that includes acting on the thoughts that come to mind about how to improve processes, get more accomplished, better organize work, and voluntarily tackle things that nobody else seems to have on their radar.  Willingly taking on more responsibility than expected helps the business, creates new opportunities, solves problems, expands one’s capabilities, and usually paves a path to officially expanded roles and career advancement.

For example, in the early 1990s I was the associate dean of a small business college, having been promoted to that role from instructor.  One of the perennial issues at that college was the operation of the bookstore.  It was inefficiently operated, disorganized, and a frustrating experience for students as well as a financial drain for the college.  After considering the work I thought it would take to turn it around, I made an offer to the college dean that if he would give me responsibility for operating the bookstore in addition to my current duties, remove the current manager from her position and add half her salary to mine, I would turn it around.  He did just that, and I kept my end of the bargain, making it an organized and smoothly operated bookstore that next semester and thereafter.

Similarly, I can’t tell you the number of times that I have inherited (willingly or otherwise) the responsibilities of others when people on my teams have left the company or moved to other departments, leaving fewer of us to do more with less.  By accepting and even seeking out greater responsibility with a positive attitude, people learn that I am serious about getting things done.  Supervisors learn that they can give me a job to do, leave me alone, and it will get done.  If I need their help, I will ask for it.  Otherwise, they can assume all is well.  I will squeal if and when I reach my reasonable limit, but until then, they can rightly know that I’m on top of my duties.

Put in more time than is required.  While the previous suggestion centers around taking on more responsibility, this one is about putting in extra time.  I don’t remember how many years it has been since I’ve averaged only 40 hours per week.  I tend to average in the low 50s instead of the 40s.  Occasionally, I go well beyond that, but I don’t recommend doing so except for rare occasions when there simply is no other alternative, and only then for a very short period of time.  It isn’t nice when employers expect extra hours every week from salaried employees, but it is good to be in a situation where you love what you do and willingly give it more time in order to do the best job possible in a reasonable, sustainable amount of time.  Not everyone is in a life situation that allows them to give extra hours with no corresponding increase in compensation, but for someone like me whose sons are long gone from home, I have that luxury and am glad to do so.

Ask for what you want.  You may not get all you want, but you certainly won’t get what you wish for if you don’t ask for it.  There have been two times in the past four years alone when roles were created for me on other teams that would not have been created without me initiating the conversations.  In 2009 I called the manager of a different team out of the blue and pitched an idea about the possibility of a new role being created on his team with me filling it.  It took a few months to go through all the internal hoops for it to happen, but since the manager liked the idea, he worked with others as needed over several months to make it come to pass.  Something similar happened in 2011 when I thought it was necessary for our internal social network to be owned by a different business area, and for me to go along with it to that area to manage it.  Again, after a few months and several discussions with key stakeholders working together, it came to fruition.  Dream Big.  Show the potential benefits of your ideas, and go for them.

Be kind to others.  This seems rather basic, but you’d be surprised how often people don’t follow this simple principle.  Being rude, self-centered, sharp-tongued, avoiding others, being unresponsive to requests, not returning calls or emails, and generally being a pain in the behind to others just makes you the kind of person coworkers have no desire to be around.  Why would anyone want to be that person?  Most of us spend more waking hours with our work colleagues than with those who live under own own roof at home.  Why wouldn’t you want to have the best relationships possible since you’re going to be spending a huge amount of time together weekly?  I want to be thought of as someone who generously gives to others, is OK with occasional interruptions in order to help people out, speaks kindly, encourages others, and who does a reasonably good job of living the Golden Rule, treating others the way I want them to treat me.  We teach it to our kids.  Why should we be any different as adults?

Trust others.  I tend to trust others until they give me a reason not to trust.  This approach seems to be better for relationships, easier on the mind and emotions, and benefits everyone involved since trust is usually rewarded with trust returned in your direction.  I understand that there are certain roles in businesses which lend themselves to being very cautious, skeptical and perhaps lacking in trust.  People in such roles need to do what their positions require without coming off as always distrustful of others.  I know I am a person of integrity, so when someone questions that integrity in any way, it is highly offensive.  Likewise, I don’t want to appear to question someone else’s integrity unjustifiably.  Of course, if you ever give me a reason not to trust you, I will continue to cooperate and work with you as needed, but I will be extremely cautious and you will have to earn that trust back over a long period of time which is outside of your control.

Help others reach their goals.  This involves being an encourager to people, taking time to genuinely listen to them, and then taking action to the extent that it is within your ability to assist.  Even though I am not currently in a management role, it is very possible for me to help others achieve their goals by providing assistance within the scope of my responsibilities and authority.  You do not have to have positional authority to have an effective impact on the organization and individuals within it.  Individuals can have significant influence without having a single person formally reporting to them.  For those who are in supervisory positions, I consider this one of their primary responsibilities–one characterized by developing others, being a cheerleader, inspiring, encouraging, empowering, guiding, leading, and genuinely celebrating others’ success as they accomplish challenging business objectives and personal career goals.

Looking at the above patterns of behavior that I believe characterize the bulk of my work history, I would summarize them in two simple thoughts: (1) strive to do your very best, and (2) focus on others as much (or more) than you focus on yourself.

So there you have it–my worst mistakes discussed in a previous post, and several positive and helpful patterns of behavior that have contributed significantly to success and satisfaction in my work.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about work experiences and patterns that have shaped your career.

Top 10 ListBelow are the most viewed posts on this blog during 2012.  If you missed one of them or have long since forgotten what it was about, check it out.  Most are quick lessons learned of 366 words or less (the exceptions being #2 and #9 – both posts from 2011 that still were among the most viewed in 2012).

1. Be There: Giving full attention to the people you are with and not being distracted by technology or anything else.

2. Trust: The importance of trust between people, and implications if trust is broken, especially in relationships at work.

3. Sometimes All It Takes Is 20 Seconds: Inspired by the movie We Bought a Zoo, thoughts about how 20 seconds of insane courage can change your life.

4. Companies Need Customer Service Like Granny Provides: Based on my regular experiences with a sweet, old lady when I donate blood at the Red Cross, this is what customer service should be like.

5. You Need Someone At Work To Relate To: Being the only person at your business doing your type of work can be very lonely.  Having one other person to relate to can help tremendously.

6. Kisses Are Priceless: From Valentine’s Day, 2012, read about two unexpected kisses, how they made my day and why kisses are priceless.

7. Exhaustion Can Hurt So Good: After an extreme Muddy Fanatic race with good friends, the mind and spirit can be so satisfied even if the body is spent.

8. Don’t Pre-Judge: Whether dealing with people or animals, you can easily make wrong assumptions and treat others differently if you pre-judge them.

9. More Questions Than Answers: Still-unanswered questions from 2011 regarding social learning and the use of social media in learning.

10. Evil Is Real, and So Is the Cure: Reflections following the tragic elementary school shootings in Newtown, Connecticut from my Christian worldview.

Thanks to all the readers who made these the most read.  I look forward to seeing what interests you this year.