Leap Year Lesson #137: Turn Anger Into Something Positive

Posted: May 26, 2012 in Attitude
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My wife and I celebrated today our 33rd wedding anniversary.  We are fortunate in a world where most couples do not stay together for life that we are well on our way.  That is nothing compared to my parents who will celebrate their 60th anniversary together in December.  Still, 33 years is an accomplishment and I am thankful for her and our years together – past, present and future.

I admit that a couple of days ago I was angry about the prospects of spending time together this weekend.  When I realized that she was going to have to work most of Saturday, all of Sunday and a major part of the Memorial Day holiday, I was mad (but not at her – it wasn’t her fault).  I wanted to say some very unkind things to those whose plans put a serious dent in our ability to spend time together on our anniversary and whose plans prevent her from having the holiday off.

Although I don’t always practice this, I knew to sleep on it before reacting emotionally and saying something I might regret in person or online to others.  By the next day, I decided to make the best of it by trying to do something for her that she would appreciate.  So I gave her the option of me either spending the time when she was working on our anniversary doing some of the items on my “honey do” list, or coming to help her with her work.  She chose the items on the honey do list. That made the most sense, of course, so that’s what I did.

It was originally tempting to sulk and have a pity party of one, but it was far better to accept the situation and then try to change the focus from what I couldn’t do to what I could do for someone else I dearly love.  As it turned out, she was able to get away from work by mid afternoon and we were still able to go out to dinner, watch a movie while eating Cherry Garcia ice cream, and still enjoy time together.  It was a good day.

Leap year lesson #137 is Turn anger into something positive.

Comments
  1. Tom White says:

    I like this Jeff, You had a decision to make and it appears that it was the correct one, it’s the one that I would have made as well. It turned out good after all said and done, but I also agree with the fact that Linda gives ,not 100% not 110% and not 150% more like 200% of her time to others and I for one see that. There are so many that expect her to be there as much as she is and more , only because they know she will be there. I am so glad that the both of you had a great date night. Again happy 33rd anniversary.

    • Tracy Booker says:

      There is a lot of wisdom in what you had to say. When I was younger, I had a tendency to just act & react without thinking of the long-term consequence. Saying things are you later regret and can’t take back is a terrible feeling. I strive to try and think before I speak, and, oftentimes want a few days to process things because I have come to realize, what I feel in the moment often differs when I’ve had some sleep and time to process. I am far from perfect at this, but, I am definitely a work in progress. Glad you all were able to spend some time together after all. Happy Anniversary!

  2. Jeff Ross says:

    You are right, Tom. While it is Linda’s job to be there whenever she needs to be there, I sure wish the church didn’t plan things on holidays so that the support staff who has to take care of those things could actually enjoy the holidays sometimes.

  3. Jeff Ross says:

    I agree, Tracy. Aren’t we all works in progress? I can think of way too many times when I have sounded off flippantly or in anger, only to regret it later. It’s amazing what the simple rule of sleeping on something overnight will do for making more sound decisions.

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