I spent about 24 hours from Friday night until Saturday night visiting my parents this weekend. It’s always a great time and more often than not I hear some new story from the past that is as entertaining as it is informative. I should probably write them down, but I’m frankly more concerned while there about living the experience than capturing it for the future.
This weekend the aspect of the time together that stood out had to do with how well my parents know each other. You might expect that, especially since they have been married for 60 years as of this coming December. Still, it was fascinating to watch such oneness play out in the day-to-day moments of life. In that brief 24 hours together, there were at least three times and maybe four when one of them actually said to the other “I know what you’re thinking” or “I know what you’re going to say” and each time their suspicion was confirmed by the other, even to the point of answering the question the other one was thinking before they ever asked it. It was a fascinating and beautiful thing to watch.
It made me wonder how well I know anyone else and how well others know me. It deepened my appreciation and respect for their relationship and their example (if it is even possible to deepen what was already there). It made we wonder about what it takes to get to that point in a relationship. Certainly it takes time. It takes a genuine concern for the other person demonstrated by years of listening and caring about what the other one says, does and feels. It takes an other-centeredness that does not characterize all marriages, friendships or other casual or professional relationships.
This lesson, then, is more of a question to ponder. Who knows you so well that they know what you are thinking before you say it? Who do you know in that same way? Do you want to? What will it take?
Leap year lesson #155 is You know someone well when you know what they are thinking.