Just a quick note to let you know I’ve added a new page to the blog where I’ll keep links to the blog’s top 10 most viewed posts starting from its inception in 2011. You’ll find the link at the top of the page in the menu bar – Top 10 Posts. I’ll make sure it’s updated monthly, so check back every now and then to see if something is listed that you may have missed.
Cheers!
In my first post for the year on January 1, I shared 11 goals divided into the categories of body, mind and spirit. I review my progress here monthly to help hold me accountable. I have some good news and some bad news on my goals for 2013 to date. The good news is that I’m well ahead or on target for several of them. The bad news is that I’m woefully behind on a couple and it will take quite a bit of time to catch up. Catching up is possible, especially since I’m now in a stretch of three weeks I’m (mostly) taking off from work with more time daily to devote to them, so I’m hopeful that my report next month looks better. Here are the details…
Goals related to body:
1. Keep my weight at or below 150 pounds. All continues to be well on this one. I still weigh in daily, and that weigh-in determines what and how much I eat as well as influencing physical activity for the day. I look forward to the 1-year anniversary of reaching my target weight July 26.
2. Walk/jog/run a total of 10,000 steps per day three days per week. I’m way ahead of schedule on this one, having done it enough days to already be in the month of July ticking them off a calendar. With our company’s annual 100 Day Dash starting June 3 where my goal is to average 10,000 steps per day for 100 days, I’ll easily pass the goal for the year by the end of that Dash in September.
3. Average at least six hours of sleep per night. I still don’t record numbers here, but more nights than not when I set my alarm and lay down, it’s for more than six hours from the time I’m going to bed. I’m enjoying a little extra time in bed during these weeks off in May.
Goals related to mind:
1. Read a book every other week. I am more behind on this goal than any other. I’m a few dozen pages away from completing book #5 for the year. By this time, I should already be in book #10. I have some work to do!
2. Blog every other day (at least). I’ve posted 59 blog posts this year, but an every-other-day schedule would have me at 68 already, so I need some daily ones in this time off to reach the goal.
3. Continue to follow My 3 Words: Ground, Stretch, Reflect. Same as reported last time, this one still sneaks up on me because of not blogging every day like I did in 2012. Nightly blogging provided a built-in time for this reflection. Without that, I’m missing it too many nights. I still think through the sequence on days I blog to see what is worth writing about, but other days I tend to forget about the framework even though I may still do two of the three instinctively every day.
4. Double the blog’s readership from 10,000 views in 2012 to 20,000. I’m running 20% ahead of schedule on this one and will pass last year’s total readership either this month or next. Many thanks to all of you for making that happen!
5. Continue to write hand-written letters to my sons. As reported before, this is only done a couple of times a year, so having done it last in December, it will be this summer before I do it again. Time to start making notes on what the focus of these next ones should be for each son.
Goals related to spirit:
1. Finish reading the ESV Study Bible and read half of The Apologetics Study Bible. I am a month behind on this goal. My time off this month is allowing me the luxury of peace and quiet at home to do more reading, so the report on this next month should be much improved.
2. Review 100 Bible memory verses weekly. So far, so good. This takes less than an hour weekly, so it’s easy to stay current.
3. Come to some resolution to an unsettled situation where I worship. Completed in January.
Life has been a little weird around our house the last six weeks. My wife just had her second knee replacement surgery since early April, so our schedules are anything but normal. I learned from the first one that I can’t keep a regular work and personal routine going with her in the hospital and rehab and then needing more help than normal around the house. That’s a large part of why I’m taking off so many days from work now through the end of the month. I needed to take some time off, anyway, for a breather and to work on some of the above matters that are very important to me.
So that’s how I’m doing on my goals after the first 4+ months of 2013. What about you? How are you doing on your goals for the year?
Note: I wrote the following on March 15 after a visit with a friend in the hospital, thinking that it would be the last time I saw him this side of heaven. He defied the odds and remained with us for nearly two more months, allowing me the opportunity to visit him again. Still, I share the following as originally written in memory of and with thankfulness for the friend whose funeral I just attended today. He will be missed.
There have been very few times in my 56 years when I’ve had the chance to say a proper farewell to someone who was about to pass from this life to the next. The first occasion was in the final days of my sweet sister’s life in 1995 before cancer took its toll. I will always remember the private moment of being alone with her in her bedroom, holding her hand, telling her I loved her and how proud of her I was, and giving her a final kiss. She couldn’t speak words back to me, but I know I saw a slight smile on her lips. In the presence of others that weekend, she said, “Well, hello, Mamaw” – a reference to our grandmother who had passed away less than two months earlier, making us all wonder what she was experiencing as she transitioned between this life and the one to come.
Tonight I said goodbye to an older friend from church. His life dramatically changed a matter of weeks ago with a diagnosis of leukemia and a series of medical incidents that abruptly took him from an active life to one coming quickly to an end. My wife sent me a text on my way home from work telling me that we needed to go to the hospital when I got home because time was limited.
At the hospital, my friend was alert, lucid, engaged in meaningful conversation, and had a handshake with his right hand as strong as an ox, while his left laid lifeless – a recent development in his rapid physical deterioration. In a moment like that, there is neither time nor reason to skirt the issue at hand, no sense in pretending you’ll see each other again in a few days, no reason to pray for healing or to give empty wishes of getting well. In that moment, it is right and good to acknowledge that earthly life is nearing an end, and that it’s alright. That is certainly what my friend was telling his visitors.
My friend has had a glimpse of what is in store for him once he passes from this life to the next. What he has seen and heard and experienced in recent days as he has walked that fine line between this life and the next has given him absolute assurance of what is to come. Instead of others trying to comfort him, he is the one spending his last days comforting and assuring others, providing hope, and anticipating a life eternal that is more beautiful and indescribable than he could place into words. I believe in the reality of what he has seen and in the conversations he has had with Jesus to pave the path he must follow during his final days. He is ready to go whenever his Lord takes him.
It was a holy moment to acknowledge in that final conversation the greatness of our God, our complete reliance on Him, and gratitude that we serve such a wonderful Savior. It was gut-wrenching but important to tell him that I loved him, that he was a good man and that I had the deepest respect for him. It was good to hear his kind words to me, recalling the time I asked him if he would be willing to serve as a deacon. It was bittersweet to walk out the door saying goodbye, knowing I would not see him again this side of heaven, yet knowing that we both understood what I meant when I said, “I will see you again.”
As I think back on the 60 hours I’ve worked this week, on the many things done and undone on my task list, on how I spent my time, I am reminded that as wonderful and fulfilling as this life can be, this is but a shadow of something far more that we are meant to experience. I left the hospital thinking, “Now that is reality. That is important. That is what this life should be about because ultimately this life is only a prelude to the eternal one to come.”
I am thankful for my friend. I am thankful for his faith and how he demonstrated it in his final days. I am thankful that I had a chance to say a proper goodbye.
As I write this looking at a screen blurred by tear-filled eyes, I will simply say “Until we meet again, my friend…”
This is the last in a five-part series covering the five corporate values of my company, Humana:
Today’s subject: Thrive Together. What does that mean and how can we live that value?
If we consider the word “thrive,” it brings to mind definitions such as growing, prospering, making progress, and flourishing. It’s more than just maintaining one’s current state. It is reaching one’s potential – the fullness of one’s capacity. It suggests that such growth and prosperity happens in an environment that nourishes and allows room for growth, one that does not unnecessarily and unnaturally constrict such progress.
Most of us hope to thrive in many areas of our lives. By combining the word thrive with the word together, however, the picture shifts from individuals focused on their own prosperity to one in which the whole group moves in a united direction for the good of all. It is not a select few doing what is in their own self-interest; it is working in tandem with others in mutually beneficial ways to accomplish more together than we can separately.
To quote a small booklet from my company, to thrive together means that “we focus on shared success by breaking down silos, inviting collaboration and mentoring others. We believe in, and act with, positive intention to create an environment of trust and integrity.”
So where do I fit in this picture?
It is vital that my personal way of working with others daily needs to include being trustworthy and demonstrating integrity. I can’t just talk about a value; I have to model it. I need to reach out to others to include them in decision-making, as well as be responsive to them when they reach out to me. I must collaborate and cooperate with others willingly because I understand that each person involved has something important he/she brings to the table to help accomplish our business objectives. I can’t horde areas of responsibility and lord over them like a king in a castle. Even “my” role at the company isn’t truly “mine.” It is the company’s and I am a temporary steward of that role and its responsibilities, beholden to the company to do what is in the best interests of the organization and not my own self-interests.
Fortunately, I am in a perfect role at work to help foster the breaking down of silos and building in their place a culture of communication, collaboration and cooperation through my role as the community manager of our enterprise social network. Thriving together requires open, continuous, honest, and transparent communication. There is no better way of facilitating that among our company’s associates than through our enterprise social platform. That is the place where everyone is equal, where everyone’s voice can be heard, where anyone can strike up a conversation with anyone else at any level of the organization at any time about any subject. That is the place where issues can be addressed, problems and roadblocks called out, model behavior praised, questions asked and answered, and business solutions crafted from thoughtful conversation held by engaged associates throughout the company. As of our latest upgrade last week of the Socialcast software we use, it is even the place where projects can now be planned, managed, tracked, discussed and documented by the teams involved. I stated at a conference in 2010 that my goal for our enterprise social network was to change the way communication happens at our company, and three years after the launch of that platform (to the very day today, May 10), we have made much progress in that direction.
I have worked with enough people personally at my company over nearly ten years to be absolutely convinced that the vast majority are dedicated, thoughtful, caring, hard-working people who want to do the right thing in the right way. Sure, I’ve run into some that don’t fit that description and some who seem to be more concerned with thriving individually than thriving together, but they are the exceptions rather than the rule. So I believe it is possible that we can live out this value of Thrive Together successfully in the years ahead, especially given the current example and focus of leadership.
Most people eagerly mimic the positive examples of their leaders and others they admire. When top leaders model such values on a daily basis, the values become more than buzzwords. Being value-focused can and should become a way of life that shapes our company’s future. It requires moving from the awkward beginning of talking about values and learning about them to actually living them naturally because they become a part of who you are personally and corporately. That takes time, but it can and will happen. It requires that the values be broadly understood and accepted, not just handed down from above. It requires regularly interjecting into discussions simple reminder questions like “How does this fit with our value of …?” so that we stay on track to make good values-based decisions.
I’m proud of the direction of my company. I’m thankful for our excellent top leadership and for the countless great colleagues I have the pleasure to work with every day. I’m genuinely excited about the significance of our focus on these five values and what they will mean to our culture over time – not just internally as employees but in the impact on the consumers we serve and the shareholders to whom we are accountable.
We can and we will Thrive Together. It will take intentional, constant effort, but it will be worth it.
We’re nearing the end of this five-part series covering the five corporate values of my company, Humana. Those values, again, are:
I’ve also written about the helpfulness of using these values in decision making.
With five excellent, simply stated values such as these, it’s hard to have a favorite, but today’s subject of Pioneer Simplicity may be my favorite of the bunch. Why is that? Why is this value important? How can I model it and encourage it in others?
At a personal level, I’m a fairly simple guy. I live in my modest 70-year-old Cape Cod home that I would happily empty of half its contents. I drive a 12-year-old car that I will drive until it has no more miles left in it for anyone to drive. I try to live out my core values of faith, family, hard work, integrity and kindness daily. I’m planning to cut my hair back to a buzz cut or shaved completely soon because I’m tired of messing with it. My happiest trash pickup days are the ones where I’ve cleared out more clutter from the home or garage that we haven’t needed or used in years. One or two weeks a year I book a room at a monastery for an extended period of reading, silence, solitude, rest, reflection, study and renewal.
I am perfectly happy having a few slices of bread and butter or peanut butter and crackers for dinner. I like my personal spaces at home, work or on the drive between the two to be clean and orderly. I want no drama queens or kings complicating my daily existence. I subscribe to the most basic cable service available for $15 a month that gets me 24 channels. You will rarely catch me spending $4-5 for a cup of coffee at Starbucks (which should have been named “Five Bucks”) because I prefer my hot tea with honey in the morning, water in the afternoon, and my nightly luxury of one soft drink. I have an extremely low tolerance level for institutions, organizations and processes that are unnecessarily complex and time-consuming. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!
So when I consider the value Pioneer Simplicity, it resonates with me personally. Still, I know that there is more I can do to model this value in my personal life. I could still have far fewer things. I could be less dependent on technology. I could choose not to fill every waking hour of the day with things to do from my unending task list.
Professionally, my perception of this value is shaped greatly by the fact that my company is a large, Fortune 100 company, over 50 years old, in a highly-regulated industry, with about 45,000 employees scattered all across the U.S. and Puerto Rico. It is probably inevitable that as companies grow, they get more complicated. Processes get new steps tacked on to the simpler steps that accomplished them before. New concerns and fears spawn new steps, processes, approvals, policies, restrictions and the corresponding frustrations that go with them. But is all of that really necessary and beneficial? I doubt it.
Old ways of thinking and those who harbor them tend to hang on for dear life when challenged by newcomers, outsiders and others more concerned with getting things done than with getting things done in a certain way. Turf wars linger. Silos emerge. Barriers get erected that stifle creativity, innovation, ingenuity and fluidity. If companies aren’t careful, they eventually morph into complicated, bureaucratic, hierarchical, controlling entities more concerned with protecting tradition and process than they are with accomplishing their business objectives in the most efficient and effective manner possible.
That’s why it is a beautiful thing to stop in the midst of a convoluted, complicated process and ask, “How does this pioneer simplicity? What can we do to simplify this for ourselves as employees and for our customers to improve their experience?” We need to develop the habit of asking these questions in conversations and meetings before bad, complicated processes get written in stone. Let’s start thinking of radically simple ways of doing what we are charged with doing.
Take corporate policies, for instance. How many internal policies are so detailed that it would take one’s full-time effort just to be aware of the details we are supposedly adhering to, much less to actually abide by them? By attempting to imagine every scenario and respond via policy update to every unfortunate situation that occurs, we try to take simple human thought and accountability out of daily decision making, thereby dehumanizing the environment and constricting creativity. This is an area where I’d like to know how many pages of policies we actually have on file, and then mandate that they all be simplified to no more than 1/10th their current size, maybe no more than one page each. If you can’t explain something to me simply in a way I can grasp it, that’s your problem, not mine.
What about the processes we follow by choice or my mandate? What would happen if individuals and departments selected just one process that they believe to be too complicated or time-consuming, and worked on simplifying it? Do all of those approvals really have to happen in that order over that time frame via that method, or can we empower the people we have hired to make decisions to do things in the manner they deem best within, of course, the confines of state and federal regulatory requirements? Similarly, do we have to lock down our technology devices to such a degree that many employees have better tools and software at home to work with than they have at work?
I don’t know what processes and policies contradict the value of simplicity for other areas of our company, but you can rightly deduce from the above examples that the ones that most often cause our team to bang our heads against the wall are related to restrictive policies, time-consuming approval processes, and efforts to control technology to the point of keeping us from doing our jobs efficiently and effectively. We still find ways to get things done and to do them well, but there is room for improvement. Your experience may be very different.
As we consider this value, let’s not forget the verb in the phase Pioneer Simplicity. The word pioneer brings to mind those daring people of old who didn’t wait for others to lead. They took off in directions uncharted because they believed in the value of the adventure and the potential of what that exploration might yield. With or without others, they weren’t afraid to try something new. They faced the danger. They left behind the familiar. Perhaps they suffered some along the way, but in the end, our world is a better place because of their efforts.
There is an elegance and beauty in simplicity. For ourselves personally and professionally, we really should try it more often.
Pioneer simplicity.
This post is the third is a five-part series covering the five corporate values of my company, Humana. As a reminder, the values are:
I’ve also written about the helpfulness of using these values in decision making.
Today’s subject: Rethink Routine – what does it mean to live out this value personally and professionally? What are some challenges in doing so?
Most of us are creatures of habit. When we find something that works for us, we tend to stay with it. We have our favorite places to eat and our favorite meals at those places. We purchase our preferred brands of clothing while stocking our kitchens, garages, closets and bookshelves with the familiar. We drive the same path to work. We go to the same places for fun over and over. We carry out the same routines in our schedule from when we get up to the order in which we get ready for work in the morning to where we relax in our favorite places before going to sleep on the same side of the bed facing the same direction every night.
For those of us who are largely task-oriented, driven by checking things off our to-do lists, it can be difficult letting go of well-worn paths for the uncertainty of new trails. An image from my years growing up on a farm comes to mind here – the image of a line of cattle following a beaten, narrow path of dirt to their destination when wide open acres of green pasture are all around them.
At work the story is no different. We follow processes and procedures whose origins and reasons for being we can’t begin to explain. We can’t explain them because we’ve probably never openly questioned or challenged them. Consequently, we allow ourselves to be boxed in and hindered by ineffective, inefficient, time-consuming, costly and ultimately unjustifiable processes and routines that keep the business from moving forward at the speed of life necessary to have a competitive advantage.
Whether at home, living in our communities, or at work, we are creatures of habit and breaking those routines is not easy. Of course, it isn’t necessary to change every routine in our lives just for the sake of change. Not all change turns out well. However, we must encourage the thinking and creativity that asks, “Is there a better way to do this?”
A few decades ago I worked in a bookstore and I recall seeing a book title that I thought was brilliant. It has stayed with me for 30+ years. The title was The Seven Last Words of the Church: We’ve Never Tried It That Way Before. If I was to write a book for businesses today, the title might just change the word “church” to “business.” How many times have you heard some variation of the statement “We’ve never done it that way before?” Have you said it or thought it yourself when presented with new ideas from others? You probably have. I know I have, although I try to catch the words before they roll off my tongue. New ideas are not necessarily bad any more than old ideas are necessarily good. Each has to be evaluated to determine its appropriateness for the present and future.
In my personal life, I’m sure I’ll hang on to some routines, especially those which flow from the core of who I am as a person and from the values nearest and dearest to me. But there are other routines that I ought to call into question because they just don’t bring real value any more. They should probably be replaced by new activities and ways of doing things that might bring a freshness, excitement, and enthusiasm along with the change of pace.
At work, it may be time to join with others and pick one routine, process, procedure, policy or tradition and take the time to talk about how we can change things for the better. We don’t have to try to change the whole corporate culture overnight; that won’t happen, anyway. But each of us can have influence over at least one thing at a time if we are willing to listen to others and speak ourselves of new ways of getting from where we are to where we want to be.
I love the fact that the enterprise social network I manage (called Buzz) sees many posts and suggestions every day about what we can do to improve. So many people at all levels of the org chart have fresh ideas they share daily that can help us improve our products, services, and processes, both for ourselves as employees and for the consumers we serve. Not all ideas get implemented, but some do. Simply having the courage to put the ideas out there, engage in discussion with others about them, and massage them into a form worth implementing is a valuable endeavor that we must continue to do as we rethink routine.
Obviously, not everyone gets excited about rethinking routine, especially when it’s someone else trying to change our routine rather than a self-initiated effort. I have witnessed several occasions where the candor about dissatisfaction with policies and processes is met with great resistance rather than helpful dialogue. I recall an email recently, for example, when someone partially responsible for a process that is frustratingly long and convoluted replied to the criticism on Buzz about that process in an email chain with an email that simply said “I hate Buzz.” Really? That’s your response to repeated frustration with your broken and unreasonable process – to criticize the channel of communication by which those frustrations are made known instead of addressing the concerns expressed? That isn’t rethinking routine. That’s guarding your perceived turf without regard for the good of the business. We can’t afford that kind of thinking and attitude. The thinking that got us here won’t get us there.
On the flip side, however, I love what I’m hearing lately from leadership at my company in this regard, from my manager to our new Chief Consumerism Officer whom I heard in person for the first time yesterday, to our President/CEO. The message is clear, consistent and encouraging: To get to a new place requires that we be open to doing new things as well as to doing old things in new ways.
Whether in my personal or professional life, I don’t want the aerial view to look like me being in a long line of cattle following a well-worn path to the same ol’ destination day in and day out. There is a lot of green pasture out there to explore.
Rethink routine.
This post is the second is a five-part series covering the five values my company, Humana, focuses on. As a reminder, the values are:
I’ve also written about the helpfulness of using these values in decision making.
Today’s subject: Cultivate Uniqueness – what can I do to live out this value personally and professionally?
What do you think about when you hear the phrase “cultivate uniqueness”? Do you think it’s an encouragement to expand inclusion and diversity programs that tend to focus on certain easily measurable demographic differences? Is it a plea to encourage different ways of thinking and respecting different perspectives? Is it both of those and maybe more? I’ve written previously on the need for more emphasis on diversity of thought compared to the more frequent focus of easily quantifiable demographic diversity.
When our company promotes the idea of cultivating uniqueness, here is what we have in mind according to a recent document I received: “We find ways to connect with each other and our consumers. Respecting one another, listening with an open mind, and seeking different perspectives result in richer solutions.” That sounds to me like diversity of thought and the interpersonal respect that goes along with valuing the unique perspective others bring to the table.
So what am I doing or what can I do to live out this value?
Personally, I feel that I have always done fairly well at showing respect to others and listening to others, even when we might disagree. I honestly try to understand the perspectives others bring to the table, even if they are wildly different than mine. I’ve been told I’m a good listener. There are others around who bring perspectives to the table that would never occur to me, and if we gather all of these ideas from a group, we then have a much greater chance at arriving at the best solutions possible given our cumulative knowledge and experiences. When I was a manager at another company, I loved surrounding myself with a variety of people and personalities, entrusting them to do their jobs in ways I would never have imagined.
Of course, simply being unique in one’s perspective is no guarantee that any particular perspective is helpful in a business accomplishing its objectives. Ideas still have to be vetted by teams and ultimately a decision-maker on whose desk is the sign “The Buck Stops Here.” But having more choices in that cafeteria line of ideas should make the possibility of a healthy, well-rounded final decision possible.
It is in my role as the community manager for our enterprise social network that I have the greatest opportunity daily to foster the value of cultivating uniqueness. With over 1,000 posts per day made on the network, many of them are ideas tossed around that invite conversation where the unique perspectives of others add to the discussion. As a result of that discussion, an original idea can eventually morph into an even better idea with great buy-in from others involved in the process. I enjoy bringing attention to discussions that may be controversial from time to time because the thinking behind them may go against the 51-year-old grain of the organization.
One of the greatest values of social networks is realized if and when leaders and others crowdsource ideas in order to ultimately make better decisions. Whether those decisions are about new products and services, how to improve processes and customer service, discussions about proposed policy or benefit changes, I can guarantee that better decisions will ultimately be made IF leaders and others understand the need to involve a broad base of people in the conversation BEFORE decisions are made and handed down. It is when large, bureaucratic, traditionally hierarchical organizations make major decisions by a select few gathered behind closed doors that the potential value of cultivating uniqueness goes out the window. In an age when social networking is readily available inside and outside organizations, such Neanderthal decision-making processes are inexcusable. You can bet that won’t be the way future generations communicate, so businesses that want to be a part of that future need to change their habits now.
One more thought about the value “cultivate uniqueness” – remember what the word cultivate means. According to Merriam-Webster, it means to foster growth; to improve by labor, care, or study; to further, encourage, or make friends with. So not only am I to value the unique perspectives of others, I need to be active in doing things that foster that growth, that encourage the sharing of those perspectives, that creates an environment where others feel welcome and safe in sharing their ideas, even if they think there may be some resistance.
In a world with much division around ideas and philosophies, it would sure be nice to literally make friends with those unique people in our midst whose perspectives can enrich our lives personally and professionally.
Cultivate uniqueness.
me running a half-marathon several years ago
I recently wrote about our company’s five corporate values and their helpfulness when used in making decisions. Today I want to start a series of posts on each of these five values, addressing how I can live each one personally and professionally. As a reminder, the five values are:
This post focuses on the first value – Inspire Health.
When I was young and continuing all the way up through college, I was the skinniest person I knew. I recall once being held up by my ankles in grade school at my desk by a bigger kid when the teacher was out of the room. I know what it’s like to never be picked for the sports teams in gym class until there is no other choice. I was “invited” to not come back to my Little League baseball team by the coach after a few practices. Even though I was a pretty good shot at basketball from playing quite a bit at my house, the junior high coach did not reward my tryout with the option of playing on the team – a tryout that took every ounce of courage I had.
By high school, some of my closest friends affectionately called me Runt and still do. I knew my strength was academics, not sports, so I have avoided team sports like the plague ever since. When I got married one week after graduating from college, I weighed a measly 113 pounds and embarked on a year of drinking a gallon of milk a day to put on a few pounds. Eventually I took up running in my 40s because it’s something I can do and be proud of, competing against myself while improving my health.
Goodness knows I have enjoyed my share of junk food along the way – burgers, fries, pizza, all things spicy, ice cream, chocolate, and the favorite soft drink of all of us raised in Winchester, Kentucky - Ale-8 – all the usual no-no’s. Being perpetually underweight didn’t exactly deter me from eating what I felt like eating in quantity or quality.
I share all of the above to confess that for most of my life I haven’t been too terribly concerned with health-related matters. It’s rare that I’m sick or experience issues, so there has hardly ever been an imposed reason to be concerned.
some of our team with spouses/friends after a Muddy Fanatic race last year
But then I went to work almost ten years ago for Humana, a health insurance company, and not just a health insurance company, but one that genuinely cares about people living in a healthy manner, promoting it among employees as well as those they insure. I finally joined a nearby fitness center that was convenient to attend, although I’m not a member currently, preferring to walk/jog/run alone or with my dog for most of my physical activity.
Last summer our company sponsored a 100 Day Dash for employees where I made a commitment and succeeded in averaging 15,000 steps per day for all 100 days, losing 16 pounds in the process and returning to a weight I had been at for many years when I felt my best. I have been at or below that weight every day since last July 26 and I make sure I eat and maintain a level of activity that keeps me at or below that target weight.
I still enjoy an occasional junk meal, but never to excess, and I more frequently choose healthy options when eating out than I did my first 55 years of life. My annual physical results are great as are the annual biometric measurements for work that earns us a lower health insurance cost, and an additional annual assessment for work which last year showed my “Vitality” age to be two years younger than my actual age. All in all, not too bad.
That’s the personal. You may or may not find it inspiring. What about the professional opportunities I have to inspire health?
In my role at work as the community manager for our enterprise social network, I am pleased that health and wellness related topics are the number one topic every week. It is a pleasure to manage a platform that is being used by more than 26,000 employees in part to help improve all aspects of their well-being – health, security, belonging and purpose. While very few of the 7,000+ posts per week are made by me, I choose which few get broadcast in a weekly summary email to all 26,000 people, making sure I include health-related posts regularly, bringing attention to personal success stories and opportunities to improve one’s health.
Also at work, I am responsible for the company’s corporate Twitter account (@Humana) where I make sure that about eight tweets per day go out, the vast majority of which promote health-related well-being. That is another opportunity to extend the message and inspire thousands of others daily to live a healthy lifestyle.
There is still more I need to do for my own health, some of which is captured in my goals for 2013. I’m doing very well on the health-related goals I set for the year and am starting to think about goals for next year such as more gym workouts, and more (and longer) races to run.
Humana’s President/CEO Bruce Broussard biking to work
I deeply appreciate the regular encouragement, reminders and incentives my company provides for our 44,000 employees to live a healthy lifestyle. I appreciate the regular well-being reports they distribute that inform us how we are progressing as a company regarding associate well-being. I appreciate a President/CEO who models healthy behavior. I enjoy working on the social media team that occasionally participates together in events like races and who daily makes multiple posts across numerous social media sites related to well-being. I am grateful for a host of colleagues who share their struggles and successes on our internal social network. Such sharing opens the conversation, creates a safe place for others to share, and inspires untold thousands in the process.
I may not be the person others think of when they think of the value “Inspire Health,” but in some small ways I know I’m living it and promoting it to others. I look forward to continuing the journey.
Inspire health.
My son, Brian, bow fishing at Lake Moultrie, SC
My two sons have been out on their own for many years. The oldest, Brian, lives in Folly Beach, South Carolina where he loves his life and work. The youngest, Jason, lives in Louisville with his wife and two-year-old daughter. He and I work for the same company. I have many reasons to be thankful as a dad for each of my boys. I am grateful for the life lessons they taught me as we experienced this father-son thing by trial and error over many years. I hope there are some important lifelong lessons they have learned from me, either from my good example or from their resolve not to follow my bad example.
It isn’t possible to go back and redo one’s life as a parent, and I don’t sit around beating myself up for what I didn’t do well. That would be pointless. Every parent does some things well and other things poorly. However, I can’t help but reflect on the whole experience from time to time and think of things I would change if I had the chance to do it all over again. This post reflects on those changes. Perhaps some of the following will resonate with new dads or dads-to-be in a way that encourages them to avoid my mistakes. Of course, the principles apply to moms and moms-to-be as well. Maybe there is still time for me to take my own advice in years to come as opportunities arise.
While there are things I think I did well, this post is about what I would do different, so here they are:
1. Commit to fewer things outside the home. Kids need time with their parents, so parents need to realize that once they make the decision to bring children into this world, nurturing, raising, educating and shaping those children is now a significant priority for the next couple of decades (at least).
I’m one who likes to commit to a lot of tasks, pushing myself to accomplish much. That is still evident in the post from earlier this year about my goals for 2013. I’m already thinking about some significant goals for 2014. As a result, time at home and time with my boys suffered from such commitments. It is still really hard for me to just have down time to chill. For example, I multitask if the TV is on by checking various websites or social media sites, jogging in place to make sure I reach 10,000 steps for the day, doing some mindless chores or plowing through emails that have piled up. But to just sit and enjoy some show or movie? Not likely.
The danger with such a bent toward multitasking and over-committing is that you can see your child as just one more demand on your schedule competing for limited time that is already spread too thin. It doesn’t help that people are typically having children when they are young and also eager to climb the corporate ladder or establish themselves professionally. Competition for attention is built in to the stage of life. No wonder our hair turns gray. We earn it.
There were too many times when I inwardly considered requests from my sons to play or do something else as a hindrance in me getting other things done that were on my list. My boys should never have a reason to think that they are an interruption or not as important as other things I’m doing. They are potentially the most significant mark I will leave on this planet when I’m gone, so why would I not invest the most time possible in them? They deserve it because of who they are and because I love them.
Daughter-in-law Lauren, granddaughter Abby, and Jason
2. Be slow to anger. Parenting is tough and it can be very tiring. Heck, life can be tiring with or without kids. It is easier to react emotionally and inappropriately when you’re tired or frustrated, and I know I did that too often raising my boys (reminder: once is too often for this behavior). I remember times when there was fear in their eyes and body language because I lost control, yelling at them or spanking too harshly. What made me angriest was disobedience. I believe it’s OK to spank, but not out of anger and not excessively.
If I had little ones around again, I’d work harder to remain in control of my emotions. I’d know to keep my mouth shut at the height of a potentially explosive moment, excusing myself while I found a way to calm down before speaking or acting in a way I would later regret. I would never want to be the reason for fear in the eyes of my kids. As their dad, I need to be a safe haven, a protector, a solid rock they turn to for security, not some out-of-control maniac frightening them with his anger. They deserve better than that.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression and make anyone think such behavior was a daily or frequent occurrence in our home. It wasn’t. But the few times I can recall it happening were still wrong and I wish I had been slower to anger, even when they disobeyed. Children don’t know what we know or have the same priorities and perspectives we have, nor should we expect them to. They’re kids. We need to remember that.
3. Love their mother more. It’s important for children to see their parents love one another, support each other, be kind to each other, be friends with each other, maturely resolve conflicts, and model the kind of relationship you hope the children one day grow up to have with their spouses. While I love my wife of nearly 34 years, she and I are extremely different in many significant ways. That opens the door to us doing our own things separately with much of our time, sometimes making fun of those differences or even being irritated by them.
What did our children think about and what did they learn from the relationship Linda and I modeled in the home? It is sobering to realize that the example we set is what our children are going to grow up thinking is normal. What we say about such relationships doesn’t carry nearly as much weight as the example we set in the home day after day. Was that example consistent with what we said? Was I the spouse I should have modeled for my boys? Sometimes I got it right, but I know many times I did not.
Brian, Jason and me sporting our Kentucky and Ale-8 gear
4. Be more of a spiritual leader. There is a big difference between being active in one’s church or religious community and being a spiritual leader in the home. As one who was in a ministerial role during some of my sons’ formative years, I know I lived out my faith in a number of ways, but did I do a good job in the home? Did I talk about matters of faith in everyday circumstances when teachable moments arose? Did I pray with and for my boys enough? Did I lead my family in devotions and clearly explain the gospel to them in word and in deed (and, yes, explaining the gospel takes words, not just a good example)?
As a Christian who understands far more about matters of faith today than when my boys were young, I’d sure like a do-over in this area because I think I did a poor job. Like many parents, I put too much emphasis on what the boys should be learning and doing in church as opposed to what I should be teaching them in the home. I have since captured in black and white what I believe to be the heart of my faith and shared it with them in personal hand-written letters, but that isn’t the same when they are adults as what you might do over many formative years when they are under the same roof.
Ultimately, each person makes his/her own decisions in matters of faith. What parents do or do not do is no guarantee of what their children will grow up to believe or how they will behave. Still, the proverb to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) rings true as good advice today for parents who care about influencing their children’s spiritual life. To abdicate that responsibility for any reason, especially the currently popular notion of not wanting to influence the child in religious/spiritual matters, is not an option for one who cares about parenting in a manner consistent with biblical principles. I didn’t abdicate the responsibility, but I didn’t fulfill it as well as I could have, either.
So…
When I ponder how I might sum up in one statement what I would do different as a dad if I had the chance to do it over, I think I’d summarize by saying this…
I’d take them fishing more often.
Wait! Hear me out… My boys loved to fish just as I did as a boy. They were fascinated by it and loved it when their Grandpa would take them on occasion. When I look at the items listed above, this one act captures the essence of what I would do different in a practical way:
A few decades ago, I confess that I might have considered spending time fishing as a bother and a waste of time when there was so much else to be done. I regret that. My boys needed that experience and time with me, and I needed it with them. My sons and I did have fun and still do. I think I have a very good relationship with both of them, but it could have been better earlier if I had done something as simple as taking them fishing more often.
If you’re the parent of young children or you expect to be in the future, be the best parent and spouse in the present that you can be. Learn from the mistakes and experiences of others before your kids are grown and out of the house. You don’t get a do-over raising your children.
I want to take a moment to give some kudos to my bride of almost 34 years, Linda. She is 3+ weeks following a knee-replacement surgery and less than two weeks away from her second one on May 9. It has been a challenging journey for her from the effects of the pain meds after surgery to dealing with the rehab exercises and the difficulty doing everyday things that she would normally not think twice about. But she is doing what it takes to improve daily and shows the determination to do what is best in the long run even when she may not feel like doing it. I am extremely proud of her and the determination she shows daily.
All of us avoid pain, of course. To go through daily exercise routines to the point of pain because you know it’s good for you takes a special person with an inner strength that not everyone has. She has me help her with some of the exercises by pushing her leg to bend more than she can on her own for a second or two – something that feels incredibly weird for me when I know the outcome is her yelling at the point of pain. She thinks I enjoy it in some evil way, but I don’t. Still, I’ll gladly do whatever she wants and needs if it helps.
We’ve all heard the phrase ”no pain…no gain” as a motivator to get us to stretch ourselves in exercise and attempts at fitness. Many of us would much rather live by the motto of “no pain…no pain” instead.
There are moments when Linda is a bit apprehensive or weepy about going through all of this again in two weeks with the other knee. I told her a couple of nights ago in one such moment not to think about two weeks from now, but about 6-8 weeks from now. What she is enduring for a couple of months is setting her up to be in a much better place for years to come regarding mobility compared to what she was experiencing prior to the surgeries. She knows that and will successfully keep the long view in mind.
Each of us has challenges we face, goals to achieve, things that cost us some pain and discomfort – physical or otherwise – on the way to victory. If we only concern ourselves with what is expedient and pleasurable in the moment, we’ll never cross those long-term finish lines.
On a related note, I have a number of friends and work colleagues who ran the Kentucky Derby Festival Mini-Marathon today in Louisville (a half marathon of 13.1 miles), some for the first time. They didn’t cross that finish line only because of what they did today, but because of what they’ve done for weeks, months and years leading up to today. They willingly endured some self-inflicted pain prior to today so that today they could feel the jubilation of individual victory. I applaud them all. I’ve done that half-marathon a few times myself and I know how satisfying it is to complete it.
To coworkers who go the extra mile to get things done and to do them well, to friends and family who choose to live life with determination and fortitude, and especially to Linda who is as tough as anyone I know, thank you for your attitude, your sacrificial efforts and example, and for inspiring me daily to do what it takes.
